If You’re Really Trying To Get Laid This Semester, Read This Book
Let’s all just be honest with each other for a second, shall we? Most brothers want to bang as much as they can. Their whole existence is based around how they can put themselves in situations that will lead to their hot dog in a bun. Am I wrong? That’s what I thought.
As sisters, we know all of this. It’s not a secret. It’s not a big mystery. You guys want to fuck us, and that’s okay. The real secret, however, is that we also want to fuck you. Badly.
It’s true. Most of us are just as down to fuck as most of you. The main difference is that we require a little (actually a lot) more emotional coaxing than guys do. It’s really just up to you fools not to fuck it up for all of us.
If you don’t already know who I am, I’m Taylor Bell, I go to school in Delaware, and I’m the author of the new book Dirty Rush. It’s my Greek story, but it’s also a window into the minds and psyche of the girls I met through all of this: real, red-blooded American sorority actives. Buy this book, read this book, study this book. It will help you in a few very key ways on your journey to decode the behavior of the females you hope to bang.
1. Reading Dirty Rush is an opportunity to see exactly what girls are saying and thinking about you when you’re not around. Ever wonder what they are talking about when they are getting ready to come to your frat house? Or what they’re saying on those long trips to the bathroom? My book covers it all and you will gain valuable intel by reading up on the stuff that we like and the stuff we don’t like.
2. Every girl in every house on campus this semester is going to read this book. Think about it. It’s a major novel from a major publisher that’s already been bought by Sony Pictures to be turned into a major motion picture. Every active, nationwide, is going to be curious about this book. Some of them are going to love it and some are going to hate it because it’s so accurate. It does paint certain types of chapters in a bad light, but it’s so true to their lives that no one will be able to stay away. So read it, but don’t tell a girl whether you like it or not until you know which side of the fence she’s on about it. Got it? Good.
3. You won’t believe how much girls will respond to a dude who is reading a book that they are also reading. Showing interest in a BOOK that a coed is reading is guaranteed to get her wet down there. I promise you that if a guy came up to me and started talking about a book that I was reading (especially if it was chick-lit) I’d probably offer him a beej on the spot. Well maybe not any guy, but if he’s cute, then maybe.
Trust me. Read this thing. You won’t regret it..
I’ll pass
10 years ago at 2:30 pmAm I the only none that knows Taylor Bell is Not a real person but is actually a composite of TFM staff writers?
10 years ago at 3:57 pmNo, you’re just the only one dumb enough to point out the obvious.
10 years ago at 4:19 pmAt first I was going to respond to you with, “Who the fuck are you?!”.
10 years ago at 5:10 pmThen I looked at your profile and realized that you have been around for a long time. Iv’e been around here for about a year. Did you have a different profile pic before?
Your name seems familiar but I don’t recognize the Avi photo.
What the fuck?
10 years ago at 5:11 pmDorn, I think the reason no one wants this book is because it is too try hard. Realistically, most of us have one or maybe two supremely awesome experiences in our Greek experience that is worth of awe. In a way, Greek like is similar to the saying SF soldiers say about combat: “Long periods of boredom interrupted by short, intense violence.”
10 years ago at 5:17 pmWe go to class, sit around, drink, bullshit, play IM football, and then out of the blue something
super intensely exciting happens, and the cycle repeats itself.
This Dirty Rush book seems like you took every single supremely exciting experience that many people have experienced and that it all happened to this one girl. It’s like a highlight reel.
Stop trying. Just… Stop
10 years ago at 8:40 pmk
10 years ago at 2:39 am^ compares himself to an SF soldier
10 years ago at 7:52 amHow about we don’t and say we did
10 years ago at 2:36 pmOr let’s not and say we didn’t because you don’t need a fucking book to get laid.
10 years ago at 3:50 pmYou think the fact that Sony bought it is gonna away me? The same company that bitched out on the interview? Pass
10 years ago at 2:37 pmWhich was a stupid movie anyways. Yeah yeah laps laps
10 years ago at 5:05 pmSHOW US YOUR TITS!!!!
10 years ago at 2:39 pmHaving to read books to get laid. What the fuck is this total geed move? Drink, fuck, drink.
10 years ago at 2:40 pmBitches, man
10 years ago at 2:53 pmIf I busted a nut on the book itself and gave it to a slam, would that get me a ticket to pound town?
10 years ago at 2:58 pmSparknotes?
10 years ago at 2:59 pmWhere the fuck is IBOTD? Its the weekend, im not here to read, im here to look. So tits or gtfo.
10 years ago at 2:59 pmI sincerely hope somebody at TFM checked on Hammer to see if he’s still alive. He’s the only thing as consistent as my post lunch shit.
10 years ago at 6:54 pmHe has been doing a great job with them lately, I think he earned a day off.
10 years ago at 7:52 pmI’m alive. Long story, but hopefully I’ll be able to get IGBOTD back up on Monday.
10 years ago at 9:55 pmGood shit. At least one person at TFM has the respect to keep us informed. Keep doing the Lord’s work Jack Hammer.
10 years ago at 11:11 pmDOOOOOOONNN’T CAAAAAAARRRREEEEEE
10 years ago at 3:08 pmSo you care?
10 years ago at 3:31 pmYou’re clearly new here, pal
10 years ago at 3:42 pm