Inappropriate Times And Places To Shotgun A Beer (PICTURES)
Shotgunning beers is an age old fraternity tradition, probably as old as the beer can tab itself. After all, I’m sure it didn’t take long for some alcoholic fraternity innovator to look at the tab and think to himself, “How the fuck can I get all of this in me faster?” Thus, shotgunning beers was born, and is a glorious fraternity pastime to this day.
But there’s a time and a place dammit! You can’t just shotgun a beer wherever you like. There are rules!
Just kidding, we here at TFM highly encourage your obnoxious drinking habits, whenever and wherever they may occur. That said, there are probably still some places that are less appropriate than others to shotgun a beer. The picture below, which was submitted to TFM the other day, perfectly illustrates that. The young fraternity man took a break from his scholarly pursuits to shotgun a beer in the library, and who are we to judge? Maybe the kid needed to take some steam off. The library shotgun I’m cool with. But apparently this kid routinely shotguns beers in less than appropriate settings…throughout time and space even. Here are a few examples:
The Library
This is understandable. He’s probably all jacked up on Adderrall and trying to level out the uppers with a downer. It’s responsible, really.
A MADD Meeting
It’s fine. He’s not driving, just drinking.
In A Women’s Restroom
Kicking in the door to the lady’s room and shotgunning a beer isn’t the sort of power move women appreciate. Except for the good ones.
At BYU
The administration would crap their special Mormon underwear.
The Exact Moment You Find Out That Your Inheritance Is Coming Sooner Rather Than Later
It’s a little insensitive…
As Your Strike Three Motion While Umping A Little League Game
They’re there to watch the kids, not you.
While Your Fraternity House Burns To The Ground
Actually, assuming everyone lived, I really don’t have any better suggestions for what to do.
On The Job
Though I’m pretty sure this was acceptable in the 1920s. The Irish had it written in to their union contracts.
At A Presidential Motorcade
Your sudden movements are distracting the Secret Service from watching open windows and grassy knolls.
In The Middle Of The Street
But I’ll admit, that’s the sort of protest I’d be interested in participating in. That might literally be the only way to get me involved.
Third World Countries
Just stay away.
At a battered women’s clinic is my personal spot of choice for shotgunning.
12 years ago at 1:36 pmFuckin’ bitches
12 years ago at 1:36 pmI usually toss them a cold one to ice down their black eye because I’m a gentleman like that.
12 years ago at 3:50 pmRFM?
12 years ago at 10:08 pmI just got back from the battered womens’ shelter and boy are my arms tired…
12 years ago at 4:56 pm^
12 years ago at 2:15 pmPartaking whilst riding shotgun seems appropriate.
12 years ago at 1:41 pmLove this. I love photoshopped pictures.
12 years ago at 1:45 pmWe get it, Bacon. You know how to use Photoshop.
12 years ago at 1:45 pmwhat about in front of the UN in Geneva, Switzerland? I thought it was the appropriate way to show America’s superiority to Europeans and asian tourists.
12 years ago at 1:46 pmLast time I checked, the UN was in NY.
12 years ago at 3:59 pmThe Geneva conventions were before the UN you fucking idiot.
12 years ago at 10:11 pmNo no no no THE PERFECT TIME TO SHOTGUN A BEER IS WHEN ONE DAY So i was coming down from my finals binge and felt like shit so i crushed adderall vyvanse concerta ritalin and mixed with coke and put it in my beer and shotgunned it. Then i walked out the house and saw three naked girls playing slip n slide ( perks of living in canada during the winter ) so i continued to walk over and try to pull but my chill to pull ratio is solid 2:5, only could nab two of em. I proceeded to take these woman that suffer daddy issues into my z71 LTZ tahoe lifted on 33″ BFGs on the third row and pee in their eyes. After that i dropped them off at the Sigma Kappa house because those pussies always are desperate for pussy. Ha bottom tiers. I walked into class wearing my brooks brother button down with my patagonia vest and looked down at my Cole Haans only to notice i forgot to put on my chubbies. TFTC. So i sat down but my balls got caught in the cheap GDI metal chairs my liberal pussy professor has. Not frat at all. I walked up to him looked him in the eyes and inform him this is ‘Merica you queer and shotgunned a beer on his desk. Kicked out of community college, 0 fucks given.
12 years ago at 2:14 pmIt’s not rape if they are brown. ^
12 years ago at 2:17 pmI stopped reading at “living in Canada”
12 years ago at 3:48 pmIt’s Kappa Sigmas. Sigma Kappa is the sorority.
12 years ago at 8:57 pmSo you got kicked out of Canadian community college for telling your professor “this is ‘Merica you queer” after dropping off 3 homeless girls off at a sorority house because they never get laid….
12 years ago at 10:16 pmThat was..uhh… well that… what?
12 years ago at 11:41 pm^^^^^^ I cannot stop fucking laughing hahahaha
12 years ago at 1:12 am^^^^^^^
12 years ago at 10:26 amThis is acceptable.
12 years ago at 3:15 pmAgree. Bacon, this column has taken you up a notch in my book. You’re now at notch one.
12 years ago at 8:04 amAt the abortion clinic when she comes out of the procedure room.
12 years ago at 3:47 pmDuring the procedure, in the procedure room.
12 years ago at 4:13 pmNext column should be Inappropriate Times And Places To Have A Boner, except instead of 1 photoshopped picture, Bone Padre can submit a bunch of pics.
12 years ago at 7:04 pm^Funny AND relatable!
12 years ago at 1:45 pm“How the fuck can I get all of this in me faster?” ASM.
12 years ago at 9:06 pm^ this guy
12 years ago at 2:40 pm