Indiana Fraternity Excused From Classes Because Nearly Every Member Has The Norovirus

El Taco7 years ago

An entire fraternity is being handed a Get Out Of Class Free card after 50 of its 52 members reportedly came down with the norovirus this week.

For those keeping score at home, that’s at least 50 streams of Fortnite happening at once while chugging Walgreens brand Pedialyte and being officially excused from class. They’re truly living the dream (minus the vomiting and diarrhea part).

From WTHR:

Chuck Carney, an IU spokesman, wouldn’t identify the fraternity but said of its 52 members, about 50 of them have been stricken with a highly-contagious virus.
…
IU’s Department of Environmental Health & Safety visited the fraternity house last week and determined it wasn’t a food poisoning issue. They called for all surfaces in the house to be cleaned, for the ill students to stay in their rooms, not share utensils and use “sneeze rules.”

Nothing like having university officials come in to tell you to use “sneeze rules” when you’re all legally considered to be adults.

The norovirus is a wicked little bitch. According to the Mayo Clinic (yes, I did actual research, aren’t you proud?), it is highly contagious and involves a lot of vomiting and diarrhea that lasts one to three days. Luckily, multiple weekends of purging inner demons and next-morning beer shits have prepared the boys for this stroke of bad luck.

I’m quite the curious cat and am dying to know what fraternity it is so I can give them a sterile high five. Let us know and maybe we’ll send them a get well soon card with balloons. Or a signed t-shirt from Dillon “Longest Arm” Cheverere. Or maybe a full Ross Bolen podcast on cassette tape. Or maybe nothing. I don’t know. I’m just a part-timer trying to make the article word count, that’s all.

Feel better soon, boys..

[via WTHR]

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