Intramural Football National Signing Day

TheChampionsTour12 years ago

Harrison Young

Commitment: Beta house – Arkansas Chapter
Rating: Four stars
Position: QB
Hometown: Bartlesville, Oklahoma
Height: 6-3
Weight: 195 lbs.

Strengths:

-Big arm. Serious cannon. Threw ball 40 yards from his ass.
-Sneaky fast. Can get you a first down if the linemen are too hungover.
-Phenomenal trash talker. Made his biology teacher cry during his last week of high school.
-Great crossover player, competed in the World Series of Beer Pong in Vegas under the fake identity of “Bobby Long” last year.

Weaknesses:

-Despite his big arm, he’s an idiot. Prone to awful decisions. Says he’s color blind, but we don’t believe it.
-Drinks a lot, despite his debilitating hangovers. May be tough to roll out of bed for weekend morning games.
-Emotional wreck. Was seen crying for a month after losing in the state playoffs.

Outlook: Wasn’t really signed for his intramural potential, but Beta might have overturned the right rock on this one. Did a two-minute keg stand at the rush party and was given a bid on the spot. Found out later in the night that the kid has a cannon when he threw a full beer can through a truck windshield in front of a rival house 50-yards away.

Worst case: He flunks out and becomes a janitor at his old high school.
Best case: He gets over his emotional instability, becomes a star and “face guy” for Beta.