Intramural Football National Signing Day

TheChampionsTour12 years ago

Richard Larose

Commitment: Alpha house – Arizona State Chapter
Rating: Four stars
Position: DL
Hometown: Yuma, Arizona
Height: 6-2
Weight: 195 lbs.

Strengths:

-Thick leg hair. His hairy tree trunk legs will make any opponent feel inferior and question their manhood.
-Good friends with ASU cheerleaders who will attend most games and after parties.
-Quick and dirty. Can execute subtle, yet painful sack taps without being flagged.
-Runs a 4.6 40, even when he’s drunk.
-Three state championship rings.

Weaknesses:

-Hands of stone, won’t be able to play receiver or create any turnovers.
-Might be able to play some offensive line, too, but he’s got a bad hip after a beer pong slam dunk attempt went awry during spring break. Might need surgery.
-Has completely stopped working out since football season ended and put on 15 lbs. Admirable in any other scenario, but he might need some conditioning in the weeks leading up to the season.

Outlook: Larose is a tiger. Questions about his commitment have been raised, but the kid’s a competitor. He’ll be ready when the season starts. He’s going to be a good guy in the huddle and in the house. Solid pickup early on, and he’s ready to lead Alpha to glory.

Worst case: His hip injury is worse than he’s letting on and he becomes a “what-if” kind of guy.
Best case: He gets healthy and terrorizes quarterbacks.