Investigation Of Ohio State Marching Band Reveals Blatant Hazing And Hilarious Nicknames

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School bands have always been known as the most secretly mischievous group on campus. Whether it was high school or college, “this one time, at band camp…” always held true.

Ohio State canned its band director today after an investigation revealed that the band members had a major hazing boner and took it out on their younger members. Older members reportedly gave the younger guys and girls nicknames which usually corresponded with a “trick” the young member was required to perform. It’s essentially as stereotypical as hazing gets.

From Deadspin:

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While the nicknames may not win any awards for being politically correct or appropriate for public use, they’re fucking hilarious.

I can only imagine what “Twinkle Dick” was required to do to earn his nickname.

[via Deadspin]

Image via YouTube

  1. Jordan Ross Belfort

    “A male student sitting outside of elementary schools and watching the boys walk home. His nickname was Dorn.”

    10 years ago at 5:33 pm
  2. DirtyJobsWithMikeBro

    I swear to God, geed_and_proud, if you comment on this, I will personally make you eat your own dick by shoving it so far up your ass that it comes out of your mouth and then goes back down. Then, I’ll have you do lines of bleach mixed with salt. Finally, I’ll make you write a 10,000 word paper about how Bogey is tolerable to mildly enjoyable, and is not awful.

    10 years ago at 5:42 pm
    1. TrustMeImPre_Med

      …is this a fantasy about how you’ll punish him or the foreplay before you two fuck each other? Actually its probably a combination of both.

      10 years ago at 6:10 pm
  3. Fratty Couples PGA

    I lost it at “Mushroom Stamp” and then again at “Captain Dildo”

    10 years ago at 5:52 pm
  4. TrustMeImPre_Med

    I’m pretty sure that the girl named “Squirt” is the only action any of those band dudes will ever get.

    10 years ago at 6:01 pm
  5. Donald Sterling

    OSU student here with multiple fraternity brothers in the marching band (Yes, some of them are actually normal people). From what I’ve heard so far, this is a load of shit and everyone loved the director. The hazing was all in good fun, and brought the new classes of “rookies” closer together (not like we would know anything about that). This is a case of the university just wanting to be dicks and ruin harmless traditions.

    10 years ago at 6:16 pm
    1. scoobyfrye

      Have fun in the North where you belong, only a yankee GDI like yourself would associate with the band fucks.

      10 years ago at 7:57 pm