Is “National Eat Pussy And Push Kids Off Their Bikes Day” The Greatest Facebook Event Ever?

Harrison Lee10 years ago

Since the rise of social media, it seems like every day is a new national holiday. While some are stupid, “National Eat Pussy and Push Kids Off Their Bikes Day” is a great idea. I don’t know why I find this event so brilliant. I don’t even munch box. I’m a firm believer that I should be a taker, not a giver. If the girl can’t handle it, then she’s not the one for me. Pushing kids off bikes? Now that’s something I can get behind.

While I was scrolling through my Facebook timeline, I saw a girl’s notification that she was attending this event. Normally, I’d just laugh and move on with my day. However, since this girl is definitely someone who I would waive my no box munching clause for, I had to check it out. What I found was gold. Just look at the description:

Every day, pussy goes unmunched and bikes endure the abuse of children riding them. It’s time we fix that.

The attendees are clearly all about that pussy eating, kid pushing life.

Of course, there were some haters (read: people who have never had their pussy eaten and were pushed off their bikes as kids). So these little losers had to raise a stench in the comments.

Morsels of what? You have to be specific here, Samson. Or were you talking about morals? How you got those mixed up is one of life’s biggest mysteries.

No, Bonnie. You’re beyond stupid.

Wrong? Or so, so right?

Even though the event is clearly a joke, this day needs to happen. I will be participating on June 25th (hopefully with aforementioned female), and I hope you will too. Do it for the kids. Do it for America..

Image via YouTube