It’s Dage Season
In a college setting, all it truly takes is a spike in temperature — usually around 60 degrees — to initiate one of the most beloved and underrated aspects of the college social life: day drinking, or in layman’s terms, a dage.
What usually begins with the monitoring of the weather the night before quickly snowballs into the gathering of kegs, the wide spread verbal and text message invitations, a decent playlist (strictly sing-a-long throwbacks), and at least one active game that can be played amongst most people in a backyard, ranging anywhere from tossing a football to an intense screaming match of flip-cup.
Let’s rewind a little bit and I’ll walk you through what I know to be true as a typical Wednesday day drink on my college campus:
12 p.m. – The viral weather alert
You wake up confused and a little dazed wondering if you finished that paper from the night before, scratching your head as you pull the leftovers from the fridge. As you flip the TV on and roll your eyes at the long day ahead, the viral message crosses your phone: “It’s that time of the week again. Weather’s beautiful. Kegs at 2 pm. DAGE.” Your day is about to take a drastic turn for the best.
12: 01 p.m. – Can I afford to miss this class?
Now, the dilemma. You trace through assignment dates. You count your already growing absences. You think of someone who can sign you in without getting caught, and the decision is made: Class is a no-go today because the seasonal dage is upon us. A minor loss amongst greater Ls you’ll take this semester.
12:30 p.m. – The lame excuse email
You’re committed to skipping class because the weather is great, your friends have peer pressured you, and you realize opportunities like these don’t exist in the 9-5 real world. However, you need to craft the perfect email that will seem as though you’re missing class for a valid reason. You know not to kill off any immediate family member because it’s simply bad luck, but you know that the death of a pet is not sufficient. Perhaps a stomach virus? A car that won’t start? The safest bet is either an illness that doesn’t require a trip to the doctor (so you don’t have to present a doctor’s note) or the passing of an ALREADY dead relative. Horrible, but necessary at times.
1:30 p.m. – Always bring a backpack
This is one rule that so many people overlook as they let the season of the dage overcome them. Quite often they assume that they’ll be able to easily grab a drink without any problems, but this is a simple falsehood. The line will be backed up, girls will cut each other claiming rights to the beloved fraternity or organization over others, and, worst of all, you’ll manage to only grab a few cups before you realize the keg is already tapped. To ensure the perfect balance of inexpensive dage fun, bring a backpack with leftover alcohol from the weekend (you’re bound to have stragglers and floaters). If you’re worried about looking like a freshman with a backpack on at the party, stash it away under the deck or in someone’s bedroom. Trust me, you’ll regret coming empty handed.
2-5 p.m. – Dage
The moment you’ve waited for has finally come. Your friends float in behind the fence and smile as the sun beats down on your faces, letting the music guide the rest of the atmosphere throughout the day. You rally a simple game of flip cup in the center of the backyard, screaming and chanting at your teammates to HURRY UP before the other team can beat you. You watch as every girl stops to take a picture, crafting, what they believe to be, the cleverest caption ever even though each one is just a variation of the other. You sing along to a ’90s throwback that unites the entire party. You look over at your friends and smile, reminding yourselves that it’s only Wednesday and this is the greatest pre-start to a college weekend.
As the sun sets and you make your way to the cafeteria or McDonald’s, you forget that massive paper or important test due tomorrow because you’re reminded of the simple fact that this is what being young is all about..
you mean a darty?
8 years ago at 2:35 pmDefinitely a darty. Dage sounds like some weird hippie shit.
8 years ago at 4:06 pmSounds like some gentrified bullshit from San Francisco.
8 years ago at 8:41 pmWhen rainman222 wakes up and sniffs his fart out his butthole just right he knows it’s time for a dage
8 years ago at 11:59 pmthey both sound gay as fuck
8 years ago at 12:03 amIt’s been darty season for a while now.
8 years ago at 2:42 pmFuck you and fuck dage
8 years ago at 2:43 pmFuck you for calling it dage
8 years ago at 2:46 pm55 out today. Why are we not dartying?
8 years ago at 3:09 pmCut-off is 60, did you even read the article?
8 years ago at 6:52 amReally ought to be 70, tbh
8 years ago at 6:59 amWhen he goes, he is referred to as the ducking daggot.
8 years ago at 7:54 pmIf you live in the south, there’s day parties all year round
8 years ago at 3:29 pmYup, in the south we have one day every day of the year. Thanks retard.
8 years ago at 4:19 pmRainMan222…do you listen to nickelback or something?
8 years ago at 3:54 pmHere in the north darty season starting now means parkas and bean boots
8 years ago at 4:51 pmYeah, but you also get beer league hockey up North so who’s the real winner?
8 years ago at 5:32 pmI think bean boots and parkas are great and beer league hockey only sweetens the deal
8 years ago at 10:30 amSeconded
8 years ago at 6:53 amMotion passes.
8 years ago at 7:00 amNever understood why people prefer the word “darty” in other parts of the country, sounds like a term for a small pecker. “Dayger” is a much better way to say it.
8 years ago at 4:58 pmThe hell are you speaking on you out of context lonesome dove of feathers?
8 years ago at 8:42 pmWhat is this fuckery we call dage.
8 years ago at 7:17 pmYou know saying fuckery is probably worse. I also don’t like how you worded that sentence. I bet your mom doesn’t like you
8 years ago at 1:05 amDefinitely a darty because fuck dage
8 years ago at 10:02 pm