It’s Not Too Early To Start Planning Your Squad’s Half Christmas Party

Buzzy Robinson7 years ago

Spring and summer holidays are few and far between. 4/20 is in April, the 4th of July is in, well, July — this leaves the months of May and June disappointingly void of official holidays. They’re both great months, but I’m talking about the kind of events that give you a completely legitimate and communally sanctioned excuse to act like a raging booze-bag for a whole day. And unfortunately, I’ve found these early months of summer to be in dire need of real holy days.

That’s where Half Christmas comes in. Occurring halfway between Christmases (obviously), June 25th is a time to to get together with your closest or just most available friends, sing some festive carols, pound some kegnog, and engage in all manner of drunken, boisterous merrymaking. Get a tree! Play drinking games with red and green cups! Put up lights! Maybe even break out the inflatable Santa Claus. The possibilities for fun and hilariously unseasonal accouterments are practically endless.

The whole point of half Christmas is to have fun, be festive, and most importantly, confuse the ever-loving shit out of the elderly people in your neighborhood. What makes this holiday so damn enjoyable is the fact that it makes absolutely no sense. It’s so ridiculous that everybody ends up getting way too into it just to be a part of the joke.

I’m not sure if this celebration can be definitively attributed to the Workaholics guys (RIP), but that’s certainly where I first learned about the miracle that is Half Christmas. If you haven’t seen that particular episode, it’s season 1 episode 6 of the show in an episode called The Strike. They guys go on strike for religious rights in the workplace when their boss refuses to give them the day off to observe Half Christmas. It’s fucking hilarious, as is to be expected from arguably the greatest workplace comedy of all time (yeah I said it).

I personally will be throwing an absolute ripper of a Half Christmas party this June and I suggest that you all do the same. Christmas is hardly a religious holiday in December, and it is downright blasphemous in June, thus making Half Christmas an all-inclusive celebration to be enjoyed by fun-loving people of all creeds. The whole point is to get drunk and rowdy while wearing a Santa Clause hat and a bathing suit next to a blowup palm tree covered with Christmas lights while blasting “Mele Kalikimaka” and playing beer pong with red and green cups. If that doesn’t sound like fun to you, then I’m not sure why you’re on this website. Because it is awesome.

Half Christmas is truly the perfect holiday to celebrate in late June due to the fact that it occurs a little over one week before the 4th of July. Thus providing you with a timely opportunity to warm up your liver and test the waters as to which friends you will be observing Independence Day with. Additionally, Half Christmas gives you a chance to get rid of some of the leftover holiday decorations in your basement that were probably just going to sit down there collecting dust until you finally got around to throwing them out 6 months from now. Half Christmas doubles as spring cleaning!

In one month, I want you to hit up all of your friends with A) a sense of humor, and B) a proven ability to metabolize toxic beverages. With this group of fun-loving and festive accomplices, you will throw an absolute banger of a Half Christmas party. Break out the old holiday CDs, string up a whole shit load of decorative lights, paint a festive beer pong table, blow up anything inflatable, locate any and all Christmas related clothing (i.e. hats, stockings, flannel pajama bottoms), hit the packy (purchase alcohol), and host one of the most memorable summer parties in your friend group’s history.

Happy Half-Holidays..