It’s Rivalry Week

Thanksgiving break isn’t just about stuffing your face, catching up with old buds, family time, and bonding with the old man over a few glasses of single malt. I mean it is about those things, and they’re all great, but it’s also about football. It’s about damn good football, actually. Thanksgiving break thankfully coincides with college football’s Rivalry Week.

Rivalry Week is about history, longstanding traditions, bragging rights and heated intrafamilial quarrels. The 2011 version presents some very interesting matchups. There are quite a few rivalry games this week, but follow me while I break down the ones that are worth a shit in 2011.

Texas at Texas A&M – Thursday, November 24 @ 8:00

“But Dorn, these two teams are hot sewage. Let’s move on to teams that matter.”

I get it. On the surface, this is a really shitty game. These two teams have a combined nine losses already this season and zero hopes of a conference title or legitimate bowl games. Add that to injuries to “star” players and a couple of Texas quarterbacks that wouldn’t find playing time on this team:

…and this game seemingly leaves a lot to be desired. Just dig a little deeper, and you’ll see that this game will be historic. This could be the last time Texas and Texas A&M play each other in football. Ever. Texas A&M decided to part from the Big XII and pledge the SEC, and this is largely a result of the perceived Texas arrogance and a 300 million dollar ESPN-affiliated Longhorn Network. Basically, the Ags were tired of living in Bevo’s shadow, packed up their shit and moved. Their prize? They will now become SEC prison snatch for the foreseeable future. Make sure you tune into this one on Thanksgiving night. It’s guaranteed to get nasty.

Arkansas at LSU – Friday, November 25 @ 2:30

LSU doesn’t really have a true rivalry, but Arkansas is close enough. Plus, there is no way I can leave out this game. It’s fucking huge. It’s a battle of #1 versus #3 with a natty berth on the line. Petrino has his boys beating the dicks off teams, and mumbling Miles has fielded another legit contender.

This is must watch football, and the winner will be a conference championship win away from the title game.

Alabama at Auburn – Saturday, November 26 @ 3:30

“Roll Damn Taaahd.” – Harvey Updyke

These three words and this name resonate with everyone over the age of seven in the state of Alabama, even the illiterate ones. After the 2010 Iron Bowl where Auburn came back from a 0 – 24 deficit and won in ridiculous fashion, Updyke poisoned the historic tree at Toomer’s Corner. He then let the cat out of the bag on a national radio station, incriminating himself. He’s dumber than dogshit, but trees in Auburn should be safe this year.

His Crimson Tide should dominate the Tigers. They’re out for revenge after last season’s collapse and have a legit shot at playing in the national championship. This one could get ugly.

Bonus: Oklahoma at Oklahoma State – Saturday, December 3 @ 8:00

“Wait a damn minute here, Rodge. I don’t see this game on the schedule for this weekend. Why are you lying to us?”

Slow down there, chief. I’m well aware this game won’t be played this week, but I’m throwing it in anyway. It’s a rivalry game, it’s an important one, and it’s only one week away. The Sooners have shockingly dropped two games to lowly Texas Tech and RG III…I mean Baylor. And the Pokes stumbled last week against a gritty Iowa State team. This game is still significant, though. Okie State has a chance to lock down their first conference title since the Big XII’s inception, and a national title berth still isn’t out of the question for them. A win at home against the stout Sooners would be a strong resume addition.

Oklahoma versus Oklahoma State, otherwise known as Bedlam, will be an exciting, high-flying game. We just have to wait another week to watch it.

* all times Eastern

    1. Always be Pulling

      “follow me while I break down the ones that are worth a shit in 2011”

      brah…

      13 years ago at 10:00 pm
    2. Teddy Fratervelt

      I’m a huge Dawgs fan and i didn’t even to see it on here. There is nothing at stake besides bragging rights and possibly a good news story about a GT student being put in the hospital for talking shit about Munson.

      13 years ago at 10:13 pm
    3. Fratius Caeser

      So a game between the SEC east champions and the team that upset then undefeated Clemson isn’t worth a shit? I beg to differ, sir.

      13 years ago at 10:13 pm
    4. FraterdayRage

      nope not into the overrated choke sucking dawgs, can’t even spell it right. Go jackets

      13 years ago at 11:02 pm
    5. SterlingArcher

      The SEC East (a division filled with mediocrity) champion versus a team who upset an overrated Clemson team? In a non-conference game? GAME OF THE CENTURY.

      13 years ago at 2:30 am
    6. Glory Glory

      Right because a matchup between unranked Texas A&M and Texas is definitely “The Game of the Century.” LSU and Arkansas is not even a true rivalry, they’ve just played a few close games in resent years. Both we and Tech are ranked, the Dawgs are on a 9 game winning streak, and this is “Clean Old-Fashioned Hate.” Go Dawgs.

      13 years ago at 9:05 am
    1. Frattie Smalls

      Michigan attempting to end an 8-year losing streak to Ohio State the year after Jim Tressel is chased out of town? How could someone not enjoy watching OSU get it up the ass this year?

      13 years ago at 10:46 pm
    2. The Big LeFratski

      And that’s the beauty of the game. Because it’s the michigan game is why OSU won’t get it up the ass. Muck Fichigan.

      13 years ago at 12:47 am
    3. Danny Devitbro

      Oh, you switched the F and the M around. That’s clever. I don’t think anyone has done that before.

      13 years ago at 2:25 am
    4. Stars n Stripes

      yeah, i guess i would be apathetic too if i wasn’t a part of the greatest rivalry in sports. fantastic name leonardBRO DiFRATio, i’ll see you at beat the clock

      13 years ago at 10:20 am
    5. PSKfratmosphere

      UM vs OSU is the greatest rivalry in all sports. Go blow your dad, roger dorn.

      13 years ago at 10:41 am
    6. Urban_Fratter

      Funny How all you Southern Schools rip on the North so Hard? Where do you get your coaches from? The Big Ten and Ohio. Suck on it.

      13 years ago at 11:01 am
    7. Skifrat

      If mich wins they will pry be in the sugar bowl, I would say that makes it significant

      13 years ago at 1:52 pm
    8. The Big LeFratski

      It’s not the coach that… What? What the fuck are you talking about? The coach is everything to a team.

      13 years ago at 3:09 pm
    9. Luke Donald

      The Big LeFratski its a slam who said that, they only know facts about sandwiches and girly things.

      13 years ago at 4:14 pm
    10. uabusacsa

      “I went to the Michigan-Ohio St game and it was sorta like two mules fightin’ over a turnip.”
      -Lewis Grizzard

      13 years ago at 9:58 am
    11. Cash McMogulson III

      UM vs OSU is only the greatest rivalry in sports for people that went to UM or OSU. Not that many other people care.

      13 years ago at 11:32 am
  1. JurfratsicPark

    I was raised in southern Arkansas born to hate the colors purple and yellow… Does LSU not claim Arkansas as a rival? I mean, its the fuckin’ Golden Boot!

    13 years ago at 10:17 pm
    1. fratfire

      No, LSU looks much more forward to the Bama and Florida game than Arkansas. Most years it just isn’t that big of a deal

      13 years ago at 1:18 am
    2. General Fratin

      Bill Clinton is the only thing worth toting about. Clearly Arkansas is a peice of shit.

      13 years ago at 3:01 am
    3. JurfratsicPark

      ^ You’re totally right, I mean it isn’t like Wal-Mart, J.B. Hunt, Dillards, Murphy Oil, or Tyson have ever done anything for anybody… I mean shit, #3 isn’t even that great.

      13 years ago at 12:39 am
  2. DavidAllanBro

    Why in fucks sake is toomers corner on here? One of the gayest fucking pictures i’ve ever seen. Might as well put a dick as a picture.

    13 years ago at 10:32 pm
    1. Dillon Cheverere

      I was deciding between a dick and Toomer’s Corner. I went with this one, because it was a little more topical.

      13 years ago at 10:35 pm
    2. DavidAllanBro

      You could have photoshopped a dick with an auburn toboggan on the head of the penis. I aint queer, boy

      13 years ago at 10:50 pm
    3. RagnarDanneskjold

      I’m not sure that a screen shot of 8 dudes blowing 9 dudes would be gayer than that picture of Toomer’s. That said, I’m fairly certain that we (Alabama) have the most embarrassing individual fan in the history of NCAA football.

      13 years ago at 10:53 pm
    4. Success

      Definitely could have gone gayer, e.g. A pic of the capstone or perhaps the statue of that douchebag Saban or anything in that godawful houndstooth bullshit. DAB, you queer boy. (not a question).

      13 years ago at 11:38 pm
    5. actually

      davidallanbro, do you live on this site? Good God man, lay off the trolling and go out and get laid or something.

      13 years ago at 9:36 pm
  3. vd1901bl

    VT is #5 so the Commonwealth Cup is actually somewhat important this year. Go Hokies

    13 years ago at 10:38 pm
    1. HowtobreakApledge

      Scrolling down just to see if someone was smart enough to mention this game.”The Battle of the Palmetto State” is the 2nd oldest rivalry. You’re a piece of shit. And yes, fuck Clemson.

      13 years ago at 7:00 pm
    2. KA_SC

      Clemson/Shamecocks is the best rivalry in football. Oh and 65-39-4. Talk shit when the record backs it up.

      13 years ago at 7:44 pm
  4. ChiPhiOriginal1824

    FSU Vs. UF…… sucks that it isnt worth it anymore….years ago it was bigger than Alabama Auburn… maybe one day it’ll be back

    13 years ago at 11:34 pm
    1. Frat IV

      Iron Bowl has always been huge but a few years ago when both teams didnt post disappointing seasons FSU v. Florida was probably one of the top 5 biggest rivalries in the country. That being said, Go Noles

      13 years ago at 11:50 pm