It’s Rivalry Week

Thanksgiving break isn’t just about stuffing your face, catching up with old buds, family time, and bonding with the old man over a few glasses of single malt. I mean it is about those things, and they’re all great, but it’s also about football. It’s about damn good football, actually. Thanksgiving break thankfully coincides with college football’s Rivalry Week.

Rivalry Week is about history, longstanding traditions, bragging rights and heated intrafamilial quarrels. The 2011 version presents some very interesting matchups. There are quite a few rivalry games this week, but follow me while I break down the ones that are worth a shit in 2011.

Texas at Texas A&M – Thursday, November 24 @ 8:00

“But Dorn, these two teams are hot sewage. Let’s move on to teams that matter.”

I get it. On the surface, this is a really shitty game. These two teams have a combined nine losses already this season and zero hopes of a conference title or legitimate bowl games. Add that to injuries to “star” players and a couple of Texas quarterbacks that wouldn’t find playing time on this team:

…and this game seemingly leaves a lot to be desired. Just dig a little deeper, and you’ll see that this game will be historic. This could be the last time Texas and Texas A&M play each other in football. Ever. Texas A&M decided to part from the Big XII and pledge the SEC, and this is largely a result of the perceived Texas arrogance and a 300 million dollar ESPN-affiliated Longhorn Network. Basically, the Ags were tired of living in Bevo’s shadow, packed up their shit and moved. Their prize? They will now become SEC prison snatch for the foreseeable future. Make sure you tune into this one on Thanksgiving night. It’s guaranteed to get nasty.

Arkansas at LSU – Friday, November 25 @ 2:30

LSU doesn’t really have a true rivalry, but Arkansas is close enough. Plus, there is no way I can leave out this game. It’s fucking huge. It’s a battle of #1 versus #3 with a natty berth on the line. Petrino has his boys beating the dicks off teams, and mumbling Miles has fielded another legit contender.

This is must watch football, and the winner will be a conference championship win away from the title game.

Alabama at Auburn – Saturday, November 26 @ 3:30

“Roll Damn Taaahd.” – Harvey Updyke

These three words and this name resonate with everyone over the age of seven in the state of Alabama, even the illiterate ones. After the 2010 Iron Bowl where Auburn came back from a 0 – 24 deficit and won in ridiculous fashion, Updyke poisoned the historic tree at Toomer’s Corner. He then let the cat out of the bag on a national radio station, incriminating himself. He’s dumber than dogshit, but trees in Auburn should be safe this year.

His Crimson Tide should dominate the Tigers. They’re out for revenge after last season’s collapse and have a legit shot at playing in the national championship. This one could get ugly.

Bonus: Oklahoma at Oklahoma State – Saturday, December 3 @ 8:00

“Wait a damn minute here, Rodge. I don’t see this game on the schedule for this weekend. Why are you lying to us?”

Slow down there, chief. I’m well aware this game won’t be played this week, but I’m throwing it in anyway. It’s a rivalry game, it’s an important one, and it’s only one week away. The Sooners have shockingly dropped two games to lowly Texas Tech and RG III…I mean Baylor. And the Pokes stumbled last week against a gritty Iowa State team. This game is still significant, though. Okie State has a chance to lock down their first conference title since the Big XII’s inception, and a national title berth still isn’t out of the question for them. A win at home against the stout Sooners would be a strong resume addition.

Oklahoma versus Oklahoma State, otherwise known as Bedlam, will be an exciting, high-flying game. We just have to wait another week to watch it.

* all times Eastern

    1. Roger Sterling Jr

      Notre Dame, when will you learn that no one has given a shit about you for 20 years?

      13 years ago at 9:26 am
    1. SterlingArcher

      When both teams barely have a winning record historically, no one gives a shit.

      13 years ago at 3:22 pm
    2. American

      2nd oldest standing rivalry with its roots in the Civil War, not to mention it is potentially the last Border War matchup, yet LSU, who has no “real rival” and OU vs. OSU which isn’t even this week make the list. FUCK YOU ROGER__DORN!

      13 years ago at 12:53 am
  1. Twentyfourseven

    OSU v. UM is twice the rivalry any of these games hope to be. Well… at least you all have ESPN sucking the dick… so that’s gotta be worth something…

    13 years ago at 1:11 am
  2. General Fratin

    Stupid is as stupid does. Roll Ride? Fuck that shit. Forrest Gump graduated a long time ago.

    13 years ago at 2:58 am
    1. Slam Slayer

      I guess I missed you out on the field. Could you remind me of what number you wore?

      13 years ago at 7:09 pm
    1. Douchebagasshole

      shitty team versus shittier team.

      we’ll call it the shit bowl.

      and no one will give a shit

      13 years ago at 11:52 pm