It’s Rivalry Week

Thanksgiving break isn’t just about stuffing your face, catching up with old buds, family time, and bonding with the old man over a few glasses of single malt. I mean it is about those things, and they’re all great, but it’s also about football. It’s about damn good football, actually. Thanksgiving break thankfully coincides with college football’s Rivalry Week.

Rivalry Week is about history, longstanding traditions, bragging rights and heated intrafamilial quarrels. The 2011 version presents some very interesting matchups. There are quite a few rivalry games this week, but follow me while I break down the ones that are worth a shit in 2011.

Texas at Texas A&M – Thursday, November 24 @ 8:00

“But Dorn, these two teams are hot sewage. Let’s move on to teams that matter.”

I get it. On the surface, this is a really shitty game. These two teams have a combined nine losses already this season and zero hopes of a conference title or legitimate bowl games. Add that to injuries to “star” players and a couple of Texas quarterbacks that wouldn’t find playing time on this team:

…and this game seemingly leaves a lot to be desired. Just dig a little deeper, and you’ll see that this game will be historic. This could be the last time Texas and Texas A&M play each other in football. Ever. Texas A&M decided to part from the Big XII and pledge the SEC, and this is largely a result of the perceived Texas arrogance and a 300 million dollar ESPN-affiliated Longhorn Network. Basically, the Ags were tired of living in Bevo’s shadow, packed up their shit and moved. Their prize? They will now become SEC prison snatch for the foreseeable future. Make sure you tune into this one on Thanksgiving night. It’s guaranteed to get nasty.

Arkansas at LSU – Friday, November 25 @ 2:30

LSU doesn’t really have a true rivalry, but Arkansas is close enough. Plus, there is no way I can leave out this game. It’s fucking huge. It’s a battle of #1 versus #3 with a natty berth on the line. Petrino has his boys beating the dicks off teams, and mumbling Miles has fielded another legit contender.

This is must watch football, and the winner will be a conference championship win away from the title game.

Alabama at Auburn – Saturday, November 26 @ 3:30

“Roll Damn Taaahd.” – Harvey Updyke

These three words and this name resonate with everyone over the age of seven in the state of Alabama, even the illiterate ones. After the 2010 Iron Bowl where Auburn came back from a 0 – 24 deficit and won in ridiculous fashion, Updyke poisoned the historic tree at Toomer’s Corner. He then let the cat out of the bag on a national radio station, incriminating himself. He’s dumber than dogshit, but trees in Auburn should be safe this year.

His Crimson Tide should dominate the Tigers. They’re out for revenge after last season’s collapse and have a legit shot at playing in the national championship. This one could get ugly.

Bonus: Oklahoma at Oklahoma State – Saturday, December 3 @ 8:00

“Wait a damn minute here, Rodge. I don’t see this game on the schedule for this weekend. Why are you lying to us?”

Slow down there, chief. I’m well aware this game won’t be played this week, but I’m throwing it in anyway. It’s a rivalry game, it’s an important one, and it’s only one week away. The Sooners have shockingly dropped two games to lowly Texas Tech and RG III…I mean Baylor. And the Pokes stumbled last week against a gritty Iowa State team. This game is still significant, though. Okie State has a chance to lock down their first conference title since the Big XII’s inception, and a national title berth still isn’t out of the question for them. A win at home against the stout Sooners would be a strong resume addition.

Oklahoma versus Oklahoma State, otherwise known as Bedlam, will be an exciting, high-flying game. We just have to wait another week to watch it.

* all times Eastern

  1. BlueBloodWhitePearls

    This column is called “It’s Rivalry Week,” so obviously it couldn’t contain the UM-OSU game because we don’t do a little rivalry week. It’s just hate all year round, for every sport, for life. The rest of these are like high school playoff games in comparison.

    13 years ago at 4:16 pm
    1. PartyRockin

      Oh gee, that was creative. Yeah, I’m sure teams like OU and Texas love each other every other day of the year. But when one of the teams in the rivalry hasn’t been relevant in over a decade, and the other is sanctioned out the ass, guess what? No one fucking cares.

      13 years ago at 6:05 pm
    2. MrConstantine

      UofM went to three Rose Bowls last decade and was a field goal away from playing in the national championship in ’07. Ladies please shut up, and I’m waiting on that thanksgiving turkey sandwich.

      13 years ago at 7:34 pm
    3. BroJesusAlphaMale

      You sir, are an idiot. Ever heard of the Iron Bowl? They only made an ESPN film about it.

      13 years ago at 8:36 pm
    4. Twentyfourseven

      Nope, I don’t give a fuck about the “Iron Bowl”. Interstate rivalry, sounds like a bunch of piss poor rednecks arguing about whose trailer park has the better public swimming pool.

      Moreover, no one gives a fuck about Texas outside of Texas… They pull in top 5 recruiting classes that are just about handed to them every year, and they still can’t seem to crack the top 10. The north (BIG TEN) let the SEC etc use its stable of prime-time coaches for a good couple of years (urban, miles, saban… I can go on and on), but that’s about it. All the south has is ESPN on it’s knees looking to milk a contract and make a conglomerated Disney happy; have fun with that.

      13 years ago at 1:25 pm
    5. Dub Ya

      @brojesusalphamale They may have made an ESPN film about the “iron bowl” but Michigan-Ohio State has an HBO film about their Rivalry. Also, Bear Bryant’s hat is gay and Alabama sucks in general.

      13 years ago at 10:10 am
    1. Ole_Frat

      Its probably for the best we don’t talk about Ole Miss football and try to forget this season as soon as possible…

      13 years ago at 4:44 pm
    2. Col_Reb_is_my_mascot

      Good God I hope that once all of the folks in power leave after this year we will finally bring back some of what made Ole Miss a truly special place.

      13 years ago at 1:23 am
  2. American

    Bushwhackers vs. Jayhawkers? I mean for Christ’s sake this rivalry was formed by the burning of an entire city! William Quantrill riding into Lawrence, KS with a necklace made out of the ears of the yankees he killed, with a posse that likely included Jesse James, arguably the most notorious criminal in US history, and burning the city to the ground is not historical and significant? Not to mention it is possibly the last Border War game to be played with a record of 56-54-9 (MU with more wins).

    13 years ago at 1:08 am
  3. Always Proud

    There’s a reason the Michigan and OSU game is called THE GAME. There’s not a bigger rivalry in all of sports. M GO BLUE!

    13 years ago at 4:03 pm
  4. GleeGirl269

    Georgia vs. Georgia Tech. Oregon vs. Oregon State. Washington vs. Washington State. ?

    13 years ago at 1:51 pm