J.J. Watt Has No Clue How To Spend His $100 Million, Googles “What Do Rich People Buy?”
J.J. Watt is arguably the best player in the NFL. During the offseason, he inked a hefty six-year, $100 million contract extension with the Texans. Sunday, Watt proved to be worth every penny as he constantly blew up the Redskins’ offense, mercilessly tormented the emotionally fragile corpse of Robert Griffin III, and even threw in a blocked extra point for good measure.
Watt is now being paid appropriately for the premier player he is, but he has no clue how to spend all that coin.
Watt Googled “What do rich people buy?” but he was apparently unimpressed. He plans to stick to his hardworking, blue-collar nature.
J.J., if you ever change your mind, here are a few ways to quickly spend that cash:
1. Get married with no prenup.
2. Have kids with multiple women.
3. Have an entourage that’s full of Turtles and Johnny Dramas.
4. Open up a sports-themed restaurant.
Of course, you could just watch the ESPN 30 for 30 documentary “Broke” for plenty more foolproof investment ideas.
Image via vidme
5. Garbage can full of blow.
10 years ago at 12:24 pmOJ Simpson could give him some solid advice, on investments and staying out of legal trouble
10 years ago at 12:25 pmFuck the Brewers, but Carlos Gomez did it better.
http://bleacherreport.com/articles/2066193-carlos-gomez-googled-how-to-talk-to-rich-people-to-converse-with-ryan-braun
10 years ago at 12:29 pmDon’t worry the brewers are fucking themselves plenty already.
10 years ago at 12:43 pmKiwis are straight killin the potassium game
10 years ago at 1:14 pm5. Fund the TFM movie, then make a cameo where he comes out of nowhere and throttles an unsuspecting Dorn who is passing out candy at an elementary school playground.
10 years ago at 12:32 pmCocaine. Lots and lots of cocaine
10 years ago at 12:42 pmDo less
10 years ago at 12:45 pmNo, you do less.
10 years ago at 12:52 pmYou’re right. Cocaine. RFM.
10 years ago at 1:05 pmYour username is Jordan Belfort. Just saying.
10 years ago at 1:18 pmSomeone introduce him to Dan Bilzerian.
10 years ago at 1:19 pmI hope you’re frarking (frat shark joking). That guy is sooooo not frarl (frat shark cool) anymore.
10 years ago at 1:25 pmYou’re only funny one week of the year.
10 years ago at 1:30 pmRestart the Flint Tropics.
10 years ago at 1:32 pmLETS GET TROPICALL
10 years ago at 2:44 pmGet the funk, outta my face.
10 years ago at 2:50 pm5. Drinks for everyone at the Kollege Klub. Russell and Montee can come too.
10 years ago at 1:37 pm5. Become the White Pablo Escobar.
10 years ago at 1:43 pm5. Ask Allen Iverson
10 years ago at 2:29 pmor vince young
10 years ago at 12:23 am