“Jacking Off Is Good For You,” Says Science

Thought to cause sperm deficiencies and even blindness, masturbation among males has never been considered anything close to a beneficial activity. Well, it appears that times in the “masturbation science community” are changing. No longer is it taboo to talk about the “benefits” of “whacking it.” A new video put out by ASAP Science highlights all the reasons why you should be masturbating on a regular basis.

 

Got a cold? Jack off. Want to reduce stress? Jack off. Need to avoid prostate cancer? Jack off. Want healthier sperm so you can create a son who will make you proud and not be a disappointment who spends all his time reading comic books and playing World of Warcraft? Jack off.

Researchers found a lot of relevant information for frequent jackers. For example, did you know whacking it might reduce your sperm count, but does not negatively affect the number of sperm retained by the female when you have sex? That means only the best and brightest jizz creatures are penetrating the eggs — ready to create a newer, better version of you. With this news coming just a few days after we find out that pulling out is just as safe as using condoms, it’s clearly been a good week for the male species.

Sounds like I might be the healthiest man in 2015.

Image via YouTube

  1. CrotchScotch

    If only GOB had jacked off a little more in high school maybe the sperm that would become Steve Holt would have been properly disposed of.

    10 years ago at 1:15 pm
  2. johnnyblueballs69

    Want a healthier sperm so your son doesn’t turn out like Steve Holt? Jack off

    10 years ago at 2:18 pm
  3. Colonel Reb forever

    This isn’t news, but it’s nice to have the “science” reconfirmed. Just don’t do it excessively, like 50+ times a month, and you’ll be fine.

    10 years ago at 2:28 pm
  4. Fred_O_Bannion

    Steve, you shit jacking off to incest porn isn’t good for you. Get a life

    10 years ago at 3:28 pm
  5. SackMaster

    “Want healthier sperm so you can create a son who will make you proud and not be a disappointment who spends all his time reading comic books and playing World of Warcraft? Jack off.”

    If only your old man followed your advice Steve

    10 years ago at 4:26 pm