Jaguars Owner Rocks Bitchin’ Hawaiian Shirt On Magazine Cover, Is The American Dream

Nathaniel Light10 years ago

Shahid Khan, a Pakistani-born billionaire and the owner of the Jacksonville Jaguars, is the face of the American Dream.

No, literally. In 2012, Forbes named Shahid (Shad for short, he’s a laid back dude) the face of the American Dream.

Before you jump to conclusions about the owner of one of America’s sorriest excuses for a football team, listen to his story.

Shad was born to a middle-class family in Pakistan, but then he moved to America and enrolled at the University of Illinois. His first job in the United States consisted of washing dishes for $1.20 an hour, but he eventually joined Beta Theta Pi and paid his way through college. After college, Shad broke into the automotive industry, turning his company Flex-N-Gate from a tiny manufacturer into a power to be reckoned with. He acquired the Jags in 2010 and Fulham FC in 2013.

Now that you know how awesome he is, I want you to take an honest look into this magazine cover.

First of all, the magazine says “FREE!” Fuck yeah. America. I love freedom almost as much as Shad does. Or maybe VOID Magazine is free, but why spoil a good thing? I’ve never heard of the publication, but I’ve driven through north Florida a dozen times or so and I have nothing but mostly positive things to say about it. Moving on…

Next, we see his banger. The Hawaiian shirt is back in style, thanks to renegades like Shad who don’t give a fuck about anything. And what a Hawaiian shirt this is: surf boards, palm trees, more surf boards. I need this shirt. Rowdy Gentleman, sell more shit like this.

He’s drinking out of a coconut and there’s an umbrella and a straw coming out of it. Nothing more to see here, other than a guy who enjoys life’s simplest pleasures. We can all relate to this man.

And the ‘stache. It’s immaculate. It makes me question my very own manhood. He makes Ron Jeremy look like a pube-faced shitstain. He puts Ditka to shame. He might even compete with Tom Selleck.

(Disclaimer: I’m full of shit. No one competes with Tom Selleck.)

And then the shades. True, I would never wear these, and quite frankly, I hate most people who wear sunglasses like these–but I think Shad pulls them off. Pair them with his power slickback that says, “I’m worth more than everyone you know, combined, but I’m here to party,” and it’s game over. The dude is a walking TFM.

Plus, he has a cool $3.8 billion net worth. Good for him. He deserves it.

[via CBS Sports]