Jerry Jones Says Football Doesn’t Cause CTE Because He Played And Still Has A Great Brain

Jared Borislow8 years ago

A keen businessman, Jerry Jones knows a thing or two about investment protection. That’s surely why, in an effort to protect his most popular venture, the Dallas Cowboys, the oil baron just doubled down with another claim that there is not yet a direct link between football and brain trauma in the form of chronic traumatic encephalopathy (CTE) after calling that very same notion “absurd” back in March.

I should point out here that I respect Jerry Jones. Not for his opinions — dear God, not for his opinions — but because he’s willing to go out and say things that other people won’t say. Granted, most people aren’t saying these things because they know they’re completely baseless and moronic, but we still need that contrarian discourse. Prevents hivemind. I’m all for it. Now let’s see what he has to say this time!

From The Score:

In “Football In America,” a special report by Sports Illustrated’s Greg Bishop and Michael McKnight, Jones echoed the sentiment.

“We’re drawing conclusions so far out in front of the facts,” Jones says. “I can live with that, as long as we understand that I’ve seen milk and red meat (debated) for the last 30 years, whether they’re good for you or not.”

A couple key differences between the “Are milk and/or red meat good for you?” debate and the “Does football give you life-altering brain trauma?” debate.

1. Regardless of whether or not milk or red meat are good for you, they’re certainly not bad for you, making it a little less of a pressing issue than the potential link between football and brain trauma. Here’s this same argument put in different terms: “We don’t yet know if memory foam pillows and mattresses are better for you than the traditional down and pillow top, so let’s not rush to any conclusions about whether or not murdering puppies by tearing their legs off one by one in front of toddlers causes sociopathy later in life either! We’ll cross that bridge when we get there.”

2. People aren’t killing themselves and others because of the potential negative effects of 2%.

Now, for my most favorite Jerry Jones-ism:

Jones, who played football when he was younger, said his brain is very healthy.

“I recently I had a CAT scan done at MD Anderson Cancer Center (in Houston), under an assumed name. Afterward, the radiologist said, ‘I noticed your age. The reason I came down,’ and here he called me by my assumed name; he didn’t know who I was, ‘was that you have the brain of a 40-year-old.’ My other doctors were in the room; so was my wife. I’ve got some witnesses. The point is: I was a fullback and a pulling guard (at Arkansas). I used my head all the time, and I played football a long time. And that had no impact.”

You hear that, guys? Jerry Jones, a man who has played football before, does not have CTE. Do you have CTE after playing football? That sucks, but do you know who doesn’t? Jerry Jones. Ergo, football doesn’t lead to CTE. That’s just logic for ya, laid out by the philosophers of old. Think about it: I’ve gone swimming in the ocean before, but I haven’t been eaten by a shark. If you are a shark attack victim, sorry — that sucks. But I, as a shark attack avoider, do not accept your petty excuse of the ocean causing your shark attack because I had a great time in the water floating on my pool noodle and drinking a Corona and lime while you bloodied up my crystal clear water with your disgusting sanguine juices. Go be limbless somewhere not near me, you amputee turd.

Furthermore, if this radiologist lives in Texas and didn’t recognize Jerry Jones simply by looking at him, then looked around the room and saw an assortment of various other random specialty doctors standing around hanging on his every word and still wasn’t able to piece together who Jerry Jones was, he should probably lose his license.

Keep up the content, Jerry!!!.

[via The Score]

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