Joe Biden On ISIS: “…we will follow them to the gates of hell … because hell is where they will reside.”

bidenrage

Vice President Joe Biden has never been known to mince words, in large part because it’s still not wholly apparent whether or not he can actually hear the words coming out of his mouth, or that he knows what words like “mince” mean. Most of the time this results in some fantastic quotes, though they’re usually more entertaining than anything. Take, for example, Biden’s stance on gun control during the 2008 presidential campaign.

I like to imagine that after hearing that quote at least three Obama staffers suffered concussions from slapping themselves in the forehead too hard. Joe Biden is the type of uncle who finds out his nephew is gay, and supports him, but in the least sensitive way possible. “Hell I don’t mind queers. Good people, the queers. My barber’s a poof and he was boxing champion on his destroyer in the Navy. Good gay, er, guy. Well, both. Ha!” Joe Biden is the sort of old guy who refills his Viagra prescription with a giant smile and an elbow nudge to the uncomfortable girl working the pharmacy window.

Essentially, Joe Biden is going to say and do whatever Joe Biden wants, and thankfully, for once, it sounded totally fucking badass. That would be Biden’s take on ISIS in the wake of the filmed, barbaric beheadings of two kidnapped American journalists.

Here’s the transcript:

“The American people are so much stronger, so much more resolved than any enemy can fully understand,” Biden said. “As a nation we are united and when people harm Americans we don’t retreat, we don’t forget. We take care of those who are grieving and when that’s finished, they should know we will follow them to the gates of hell until they are brought to justice because hell is where they will reside.”

DRUNK UNCLE! ENGAGE!

But seriously, fuckin’ A, Joe.

The only downside is that this isn’t the first time Biden has dropped the whole “gates of hell” guarantee. He did the same thing in the Vice Presidential Debate against Paul Ryan in 2012 when discussing Benghazi.

To be fair, the “gates of hell” remark was more in reference to the administration’s effort to track down and kill Osama Bin Laden, and I guess Biden isn’t totally off base here, because I can’t imagine Pakistan being too far off from what the gates of hell look like. So maybe we’re going back into Iraq, then? ISIS is certainly doing its best in northern Iraq and Syria to match that resemblance as well. Hopefully the U.S. can lend them a hand by adding some fire and brimstone.

[via CNN]

  1. Sand_Hill_Alum

    enough talking already fire up the B-52s and carpet those fuckers back to the stone age

    10 years ago at 5:36 pm
  2. itsnotme_itsroenick

    empty words from an empty administration. clint eastwood was right about the empty chair.

    10 years ago at 6:10 pm
  3. ChessClubPres

    I’d like to see them dealt with remotely, with carefully-aimed, devastating explosions, and as few innocent casualties as possible.

    10 years ago at 6:39 pm
  4. HazePledges

    There are two types of Muslims, Shia and Sunni. Shia believe that if you kill a Sunni then you will get a high place in heaven. Shia’s killed tens of thousands of Sunni’s, including forcing them on their own people. ISIS was formed by ex-Sunni soldiers and rebels to get revenge against Shia leaders. They didn’t want anything to do with America. Some politician calls them terrorists and all of a sudden everything thinks ISIS is going to bomb us. I realize this is probably the wrong site to be putting these kind of facts on, but I wish everyone would be more informed and less ignorant. (in b4 “ISIS are killing kids”….. according to who? US media?)

    10 years ago at 7:54 pm
    1. Fratimal House

      There are many more than two types of Muslims (Sufi, Ahmadiyya, etc.). Nowhere, and I mean nowhere, in *Shi’a* doctrine does it say that if you kill a Sunni that you will be rewarded. Nobody sane believes ISIS is coming to bomb us, it’s just that they represent a more unified and well armed group of extremists than we’ve seen in a while.

      10 years ago at 8:55 pm
      1. HazePledges

        I never said there were ONLY two types of muslims.
        And it doesn’t have to say it in the Shi’a (my bad on the misspelling) doctrine. It’s still what a lot of them were brainwashed into thinking by their leaders.

        10 years ago at 1:51 pm
      2. DirtyJobsWithMikeBro

        The way you said, “There are two types of Muslims,” really made it seem like you thought there are only two types of Muslims.

        10 years ago at 12:12 am
  5. bama_class

    Never thought I’d see the day….I agree with Joe Biden. Dammit that was hard to say….

    10 years ago at 8:48 pm
  6. cheezitwithbacon

    We are all Americans, Red White or Blue.
    Get ‘er done, Joe!
    And ISIS, there’s a one way ticket back to the 8th Century waiting for you on a drone zeroing in on you soon.

    10 years ago at 8:54 pm
  7. Capitalist_Gentleman

    Biden was a GDI who quit the football team after his freshman year. Then he went to law school and received an “F” for plagiarizing a third of his law review paper.

    10 years ago at 11:25 pm