Johnny Manziel Continues Summer Domination, Is Caught Rolling Up Dollar Bill In Bathroom

The big news is that Johnny Manziel was captured on camera rolling up American currency (presumably featuring a photo of Benjamin Franklin) in a restroom over the holiday weekend. Having spun cash into straw form many, many times, I’m aware of only one reason for doing so, and that one reason is getting down with snortable drugs. The cell phone photo below was sent in through our tip line, posted yesterday evening by Busted Coverage, and will undoubtedly be seen everywhere from ESPN to TMZ in the coming hours.

Manziel Getting Down

Photos of Johnny in the same outfit, with his chain untucked and his gray t-shirt, hanging with Playboy’s Miss Social, Dallas Parks, surfaced on Instagram as well. I assume these two photos are from the same night, but, knowing Johnny, I guess it’s possible that he was on a 3-day bender and didn’t care enough to change shirts.

In Johnny Cocaine’s defense, getting fucked up was at the top of a short list of things I cared about when I was 21 years old, followed shortly thereafter by discovering new ways to get fucked up, and chasing hot girls. The world was my oyster, and I was going to puke all over that oyster and laugh about it. But I wasn’t a world class athlete, signed to Nike, drafted by the Cleveland Browns, or under the constant observance of every paparazzi and cell phone-wielding jackass from here to Timbuktu.

I’m all about giving people time to learn from their own mistakes, but this latest string of inexplicably unintelligent decisions, like hanging with Justin Bieber, is making me nervous for Money Manziel. I’ve been down the road of giving so few fucks that nothing could stop me. You’re reading a column written by a man that once tested positive for cocaine use in a court-ordered drug test that he was aware of weeks beforehand. Unlike marijuana, which can show up in a piss test for a month if you’re smoking like Wiz Khalifa, cocaine can exit your system in just two days. You have to be really, really stupid to fail a piss test for blow use (I was doing it the night before, still really sorry, Mom and Dad).

It’s a dangerous path the man formerly known as Johnny Football is going down. Entertaining? Hell yes. But dangerous nonetheless.

When I was literally and figuratively blowing it on the reg, I eventually pulled my head out of my ass and got my shit together. Unfortunately, Johnny doesn’t have the luxury of time. Not if he wants to remain a quarterback in the NFL, anyway. But maybe that’s not at the top of the short list of things he cares about. Maybe he thinks his odds of longterm success in the NFL are slim, and he’s hedging his bets to make sure he has a shit ton of celebrity friends no matter what happens on the field. Maybe all he cares about is raging with the Biebs and Drake, and making unknown hot girls famous simply by being photographed with them.

It’s his life, and nobody has the right to tell him how to live it, but the success he has earned so far is his to either build upon, or squander. I’m still rooting for the guy, but he has to be smarter than this, or, at the very least, do his dollar bill rolling in a bathroom stall with a bodyguard standing at the door to make sure nobody with a freaking iPhone ruins his career.

(Annnnd as I typed this, TMZ broke the news that Manziel was pouring drinks behind the bar at Rooftop on 6th Street in Austin, Texas over the weekend.)

  1. Pavel Fratsyuk

    What I dislike most about this is that he is being unknowingly photographed. I understand he’s under a spotlight, but is the incrimination really necessary? Kind of like Michael Phelps with the bong. Do you really want to be the guy that got some famous athlete into trouble? Its not much to be proud of.

    10 years ago at 11:45 am
    1. Frater Uncle Sam

      These people are the kids in high school who printed off that one facebook picture that accidentally got posted where you are holding a beer, and slipped it under the principals office door anonymously just to get you fucked in the ass. Fuck those people.

      10 years ago at 5:17 pm
  2. gamefrock

    I don’t see why everyone is freaking out – he’s done nothing wrong yet (and gotten caught). Yeah sure he hangs with other rich people and does rich people things like get with girls way hotter than him and get trashed in Vegas. But until he actually fails a drug test, gets arrested, does something extremely offensive or fails to perform on the field, he’s done absolutely nothing wrong.

    10 years ago at 1:23 pm
  3. Alpha_Chi_bRho

    This kid better be the best thing the NFL has seen…which I doubt will happen.

    10 years ago at 2:45 pm
  4. YittiesAndTitties

    Cool he parties like he’s faf and he’s tftc, but since when do we worship GDIs?

    10 years ago at 3:01 pm
  5. FraptainObvious

    I mean football season is almost here, let’s wait till end of the season to judge him. Although Jonny does need to reevaluate and control himself a bit.

    10 years ago at 3:07 pm