Johnny Manziel Continues Summer Domination, Is Caught Rolling Up Dollar Bill In Bathroom

The big news is that Johnny Manziel was captured on camera rolling up American currency (presumably featuring a photo of Benjamin Franklin) in a restroom over the holiday weekend. Having spun cash into straw form many, many times, I’m aware of only one reason for doing so, and that one reason is getting down with snortable drugs. The cell phone photo below was sent in through our tip line, posted yesterday evening by Busted Coverage, and will undoubtedly be seen everywhere from ESPN to TMZ in the coming hours.

Manziel Getting Down

Photos of Johnny in the same outfit, with his chain untucked and his gray t-shirt, hanging with Playboy’s Miss Social, Dallas Parks, surfaced on Instagram as well. I assume these two photos are from the same night, but, knowing Johnny, I guess it’s possible that he was on a 3-day bender and didn’t care enough to change shirts.

In Johnny Cocaine’s defense, getting fucked up was at the top of a short list of things I cared about when I was 21 years old, followed shortly thereafter by discovering new ways to get fucked up, and chasing hot girls. The world was my oyster, and I was going to puke all over that oyster and laugh about it. But I wasn’t a world class athlete, signed to Nike, drafted by the Cleveland Browns, or under the constant observance of every paparazzi and cell phone-wielding jackass from here to Timbuktu.

I’m all about giving people time to learn from their own mistakes, but this latest string of inexplicably unintelligent decisions, like hanging with Justin Bieber, is making me nervous for Money Manziel. I’ve been down the road of giving so few fucks that nothing could stop me. You’re reading a column written by a man that once tested positive for cocaine use in a court-ordered drug test that he was aware of weeks beforehand. Unlike marijuana, which can show up in a piss test for a month if you’re smoking like Wiz Khalifa, cocaine can exit your system in just two days. You have to be really, really stupid to fail a piss test for blow use (I was doing it the night before, still really sorry, Mom and Dad).

It’s a dangerous path the man formerly known as Johnny Football is going down. Entertaining? Hell yes. But dangerous nonetheless.

When I was literally and figuratively blowing it on the reg, I eventually pulled my head out of my ass and got my shit together. Unfortunately, Johnny doesn’t have the luxury of time. Not if he wants to remain a quarterback in the NFL, anyway. But maybe that’s not at the top of the short list of things he cares about. Maybe he thinks his odds of longterm success in the NFL are slim, and he’s hedging his bets to make sure he has a shit ton of celebrity friends no matter what happens on the field. Maybe all he cares about is raging with the Biebs and Drake, and making unknown hot girls famous simply by being photographed with them.

It’s his life, and nobody has the right to tell him how to live it, but the success he has earned so far is his to either build upon, or squander. I’m still rooting for the guy, but he has to be smarter than this, or, at the very least, do his dollar bill rolling in a bathroom stall with a bodyguard standing at the door to make sure nobody with a freaking iPhone ruins his career.

(Annnnd as I typed this, TMZ broke the news that Manziel was pouring drinks behind the bar at Rooftop on 6th Street in Austin, Texas over the weekend.)

  1. KappaDLady

    Partied with him. But my phone died. So no proof. People think I’m lying. Ughhhh.

    10 years ago at 9:38 pm
  2. BigDavve

    There are different paths to success in the NFL. I bartended my way through college in Milwaukee in the mid 90’s at a bar that Brett Favre and a few other Packers stars frequented regularly on the weekends when they needed an escape from the little village of Green Bay. I can’t count how many Friday nights I’d see Favre totally wasted by the end of the night (and what a night it was!) and then I’d watch him destroy some opposing team Sunday, literally about 34 hours later!

    On the other hand, former WI star JJ Watt is now one of the most dominant players in the NFL today and apparently for him, everything including going out and screwing all the hot chicks that will gladly blow or screw an NFL superstar on a nightly basis takes a back seat to doing everything he can to be the best player he can be. (and trust me, its more than just the skanks that hang out in the team hotel lobbies that do that, there’s a lot of “good girls” that if by chance end up in the same bar or club that some major sports star drops in at, will also gladly do things that good girls aren’t supposed to do with anyone other than their bf or husband!)

    So, I guess it really does all come down to what Johnny Football actually does on the NFL field and so far, he hasn’t done a thing!

    10 years ago at 11:21 pm
  3. Hot Links Around The Web (7/16/14) | Big10Tens

    […] Manzie rolls up a dollar in a bathroom – TFM […]

    10 years ago at 12:00 am
  4. Teddy's Lack of Confidence Could Kill a Dynasty Before It Starts

    […] You might ask why I’m not as hard on Russell Wilson or Andrew Luck and you’d be right. See what irks me about Teddy is that he’s actually genuine about “showing up on time” and “doing the right thing” and “not doing cocaine in a bathroom with playboy models“. […]

    9 years ago at 7:47 pm
  5. Taco Time Offers Johnny Manziel A Roster Spot - THE BITE LIFE

    […] I don’t wanna tell Taco Time how to run their business but, if I were them, I’d put this application in the “NO” pile.  Or, at least table this decision until Johnny proves he can be relied upon to roll burritos on the prep line instead of dollar bills in the bathroom. […]

    8 years ago at 3:56 pm