Kansas Football Is So Bad Its Mascot Is Puking On The Sideline

  
The old college football wisdom says to throw out the records during rivalry week, because the teams are playing for more than just a win. Regardless, I’m guessing if Kansas football lined up against ISIS to play for the lives of their families, who were all being held with machetes to their necks on the opposite sideline, the Jayhawks would still find a way to lose by 30.

Kansas football is that bad.

As their rival Kansas State handed Kansas a stomping generally reserved for a scary looking spider you find in your room late at night, the KU mascot became physically ill watching its team play.

Can you blame the poor, dumb bird? Kansas is like that laughably terrible team full of lovable misfits in a kids’ sports movie, except the tough, crazy athletic, misunderstood kid and the beleaguered but talented coach who rediscovers himself never show up to help. So instead of rallying, the team ends up getting murdered by the rival team full of rich bullies (TFM), losing every game, and then all the players go on to have mediocre, unfulfilling, lower middle class lives. And both the tough, athletic kid and the coach who needs to be reminded of why he loves the game die, via drug overdose and suicide respectively. 

That’s how bad Kansas football is. 

[via Twitter

  1. Magnebro

    Bacon I didn’t know you graduated from the shitty Mizzou. Now it all makes sense.

    10 years ago at 8:55 pm
  2. Simple-Jack

    Stop pollution. It be getting birds like these sick. They ain’t gonna survive the winter!

    10 years ago at 9:33 pm
  3. Massivekarp

    SIDENOTE: The TFM posted the first ski/snowboard video of the year. Thank god it’s that time of year.

    10 years ago at 10:12 pm
  4. Texas Tech Frat

    I’m glad we are finally not the rejects of the big 12, thank you Kansas for taking our spot

    10 years ago at 8:35 pm