Kappa Sigma At South Alabama Hosts Alcohol-Free Super Bowl Party, Cops Attend
12 years ago

In an effort to gain the good graces of the town and university, the Kappa Sigma fraternity at the University of South Alabama threw an alcohol-free Super Bowl party to “raise awareness about the perils of abusing alcohol and drunk driving.” The local police department attended to show support for the cause and say a few inspirational words about the dangers of alcohol. It went off without a hitch.

And before the ‘NF’ bombs rain down on these forward-thinking, upstanding members of the Greek community, taking a day off from the sauce to win over the locals and grab headlines in a positive light is a worthwhile endeavor. Some of you guys could learn a thing or two from this chapter.

You see the above photo, and I know what you’re thinking: “Wow, they even convinced the Mobile Chief of Police to show up to this fraternity house shindig and provide a quote or two.” That’s not the chief, though. This portly ass assassin with the fire red walrus ‘stache and the appearance of a beer guzzling savant is Kappa Sigma member Sean Moore, and he worked the party like a seasoned, glad-handing politician.

No beer. None. However, they did serve ‘beverage.’

There were red cups of beverage, plenty of pizzas, and the big game on a big screen, but not a drop of beer.

Beverage? They served beverage? Yeah, beverage.

___

“Sweet party. What you guys got to drink?”

“No beers, man.”

“Bummer. What do you have?”

“Well, we have have all the beverage you can shake your dick at.”

“Hell yes. Pour me up.”

“Here you go. Put your lips around THAT.”

“Hey, careful, man. There’s a beverage here.”

___

A certain subtlety about this news piece that the layperson will not recognize is the remarkable composure displayed by Sean Moore during the interview. No one in this country — I repeat, no one — with a mustache piece like Mr. Moore’s doesn’t hammer down cold beers regularly. I’m guessing that 45 minutes after the news crew packed up their shit and left that Moore was shirtless with a cowboy hat on, singing Garth Brooks at the top of his lungs with two beers stacked in each hand.

“We want to show everybody (fraternities are) not just a bunch of drunks, we give back to the community, we care about them,” said Moore. […] “You do not have to drink to have fun, we want to show everybody that, not just students here on the campus of South Alabama, but the citizens of Mobile, Alabama community,” said Moore.

Spoken like a future politician.

[via Fox 10]

Image via Fox 10

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  2. Karl Welzein

    Sounds like these corncobs had a pretty lame Supes Celebraish, you guys. Probably lotsa grossouts there too. Mightve been a good time?

    12 years ago at 1:18 pm
  6. ButtpeeMcgee

    President: “Hey guys, uh no one wants to come party with us again, I was thinking we might be able to at least get some community service hours in and throw a “dry Super Bowl party” and that way when no one shows up every one will think that it has to do with the lack of alcohol and not the fact that we are severely over our ginger limit.”
    Chapter (collectively): Yeah….sure, I guess.
    Member: Can WE at least drink Zima-er uh I mean “beverage”.
    President: YOU KNOW IT! it wouldn’t be a kappa sig party without it!

    12 years ago at 6:18 pm
  9. BamaForRomney

    Man, I read the title and expected to comment about them being bottom tier. That guy’s mustache was near Ron Swanson levels, they had a few good slams, and got on the good side with their campus PD. I’ll allow it.

    12 years ago at 8:47 pm