Kate Upton Named People Magazine’s Sexiest Woman Alive And I’m Just A Little Bit Confused
Kate Upton has a beautiful face and a set of natural Hindenburgs that defy physics, but other than that, she doesn’t have a whole lot aesthetically going for her.
Can we be honest about this? She’s a model after all. She earns a living by being hot and presenting her physical self to the world to be lauded, but with admiration and acknowledgement comes judgement. Just as you’re allowed to say my articles are shit, aren’t we allowed to say Kate is a shell of her former model self? Four years ago, this award makes so much more sense. She was near perfect. But not now. I can’t be the only one to notice that her torso has taken on an amoebic-like quality.
From PEOPLE:
At the PEOPLE Magazine Awards on Thursday, Upton won the award for PEOPLE’s Sexiest Woman.
“This is such an honor to me because sexy to me means someone who’s confident and happy,” said Upton, 22, as she accepted the honor at the Beverly Hilton Hotel in Los Angeles.
I don’t intend to say she’s not attractive. She is, undoubtedly. But when People Magazine named her the “Sexiest Woman Alive,” as in not one woman on earth is sexier than her, about five million women around the globe got ripped off, which is the number of women I estimate are sexier than Kate Upton.
Good for her, though. She’s a sweet girl, and what happened to her in The Fappening was a real shame.
I just like to remember the old Kate. Sue me.

[via PEOPLE]
Image via Shutterstock
Maybe 4 years ago when we had 18 year old Kate, but this is just stupid. Father time has not been kind to his one.
11 years ago at 2:44 pmAgreed. She had a 2 year window and now it’s closed. I’d take any of the “models” on Instagram over her. That app has accomplished more for hot girls than feminism.
11 years ago at 3:07 pmI wouldn’t kick her out of the sack. She could still make me go in under ten seconds.
11 years ago at 2:44 pmYou’re just pissed it’s not your girl, Jen Selter
11 years ago at 2:44 pmGood one, Rufus
11 years ago at 5:51 pmDidn’t read the article. Just looking for pics of Kate Upton.
11 years ago at 2:44 pmhttp://media0.giphy.com/media/M8gheIhsLcttS/giphy.gif
11 years ago at 2:46 pm
11 years ago at 2:48 pmJerry, you rarely disappoint.
11 years ago at 2:50 pmCan’t say the same thing about the Cowboys
11 years ago at 2:57 pmCan’t say the same about your mom either.
11 years ago at 3:00 pm↑Which brings me back to my last point↑
11 years ago at 3:11 pmBa dum tissssss
11 years ago at 3:12 pm
11 years ago at 2:49 pm
11 years ago at 2:51 pm
11 years ago at 2:57 pm
11 years ago at 2:59 pmGod bless you gentlemen.
11 years ago at 3:06 pmYou guys are doing some great work.
11 years ago at 3:33 pmGods work*
11 years ago at 12:49 pmI miss this Kate. She has the body of a box nowadays.
11 years ago at 12:03 pm“Sexiness isn’t about looks, Dorn”
11 years ago at 2:44 pm-some feminist somewhere
The magazines just don’t what they’re talking about anymore, I think Rolling Stone proved this.
11 years ago at 2:45 pmRolling Stone is a liberal rag
11 years ago at 3:04 pmFeminists are taking over with all this women have curves bullshit. As a proud Meninist and dad bod connoisseur, I think it’s time we fight back.
11 years ago at 2:45 pmFrom the ribs down, she isn’t curvy at all. That’s the thing.
11 years ago at 2:49 pmBeing fat has become synonymous with curves, because apparently it’s not socially acceptable to call fat girls fat anymore.
11 years ago at 3:15 pmNowadays “Curvy,” = “Full-figured,” = “BBW,” “Big-boned,” = “Fatass.”
11 years ago at 4:29 pmDorn I’m just a little bit confused as to why fail Friday isn’t up yet. Can you shed a little light on that?
11 years ago at 2:46 pmWe get it Dorn, you like them as young as possible.
11 years ago at 2:46 pmnu uh..
11 years ago at 2:54 pmFake ass Dorm
11 years ago at 3:58 pmSo they’re calling pedophiles “confused” nowadays? Damn liberals
11 years ago at 2:47 pm