Kid Needs 500,000 Retweets To Take His Friend’s Smoking Hot Mom To Prom
Kid by the name of Anthony wanted to bring his friend Chloe’s MILF of a mom to prom.
Chloe’s mom has got it going on. I’m assuming the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree, and Chloe herself isn’t an eyesore, but I imagine this kid Anthony has been hardcore friend-zoned. If that is indeed the case, the next best option for him is to try and pork her mom. Logic, guys.
Chloe originally said he could take her mom if he was retweeted one million times, but our boy Anthony talked her down to a mere 500k retweets. Homeboy had close to 80,000 RTs in less than 24 hours, but the pressure must have got to him and he folded and deleted the tweet. Weak, man. Real weak.
This had potential to be one of the biggest upsets in history, but we’ll never know. Sure, Anthony had all the cards stacked against him. He first needed those retweets, and though not an unsurmountable feat, it was still a rather demanding number. Next he’d have to deal with Chloe trying to shut him down with the defensive tenacity of Tony Allen before, during, and after prom. Finally, and most importantly, what’s the mom’s deal? Recently divorced? Married? Widowed? Not to mention, spitting mom game is on a whole other level than hitting on girls in high school (when you’re actually in high school, guys). Having a car and an older brother to buy you booze just won’t cut it.
Now, I started writing this post when the tweet was still up, and my intention was to help Anthony gain some support and hopefully be partially responsible for giving him the shot of a lifetime. Growing up, who doesn’t give serious thought to banging a friend’s hot mom? We can all relate. Unfortunately, some people just can’t handle the limelight of internet blogs and Twitter fame.
Now back to a picture of the mom for the road..
Image via Twitter
He’s trying too hard. He could take Mrs. Dorn to prom, and then to poundtown for free.
10 years ago at 1:58 pmIf he’s still underage I’m sure Dorno would want to take him himself
10 years ago at 2:02 pm“On a scale of 1-10, how old are you?” – Dorno
10 years ago at 2:09 pmHow has this not been said until now? Bravo on a classic joke
10 years ago at 4:33 pmAre the pledge rankings new or am I just losing my mind.
10 years ago at 4:43 pmYou’re losing your mind
10 years ago at 4:48 pmIt has.
10 years ago at 1:25 pmI don’t come free, honey.
10 years ago at 2:22 pmNo, you come with syphilis.
10 years ago at 3:04 pmSmash
10 years ago at 2:00 pmCool
10 years ago at 2:07 pmShowing her the 500k retweets…as you nod your head and hand her a drink as you lead her back to your house to bang. TFM
10 years ago at 2:01 pmWhatever happened to the Pennsylvania guy? I need more bang stories.
10 years ago at 2:04 pmProbably blackballed like the rest of the old faithful users. #FreeShibby
10 years ago at 2:18 pm#FreePAGuy2K15
10 years ago at 10:48 amThese need to be brought back.
10 years ago at 2:26 pmI’m about 99% sure I’ve seen her in a Naughty America video.
10 years ago at 2:02 pmIf you can find her stage name then by default you will be crowned our new god.
10 years ago at 2:16 pmNaughty America working username and password
10 years ago at 4:37 pmnastaffamanda:napass123
Your Welcome
Fuck you for leaving me and my sudden erection hangin’ like that.
10 years ago at 4:53 pmDorn approves this message.

10 years ago at 2:06 pmDoooont caaaaare
10 years ago at 2:13 pmEveryone’s thinking it and I’ll gladly take laps if necessary…. Someone needs to get the inside scoop on when Chloe’s 18th birthday is…
10 years ago at 2:20 pmIf the two of them banged…Win-Win
10 years ago at 2:58 pmBanging the mother of the chick who friend-zoned you would be a pretty serious power move.
10 years ago at 3:09 pmDeleting a tweet that might upset someone. NF.
10 years ago at 4:14 pmDeleting a tweet because it didn’t get any RTs or favs… TYouM. Take the L fam
10 years ago at 4:51 pmImpressively douchey, again.
10 years ago at 5:00 pm