Let’s Kill The Stigma Surrounding DMs

Buzzy Robinson7 years ago

Do I have to be a martyr for this issue? If so, I fully accept my fate. The injustice that is “DM shaming” has gone on long enough, and I, for one, refuse to stand by and let it go on unchecked. It’s about time somebody put their foot down, and that foot is mine.

If I see one more stupid fucking video of some poor, innocent young dude eating shit on a slip ‘n slide with the caption “When he slides into your DMs,” I am going to throw a fit. I am so done with this myth that a woman’s DMs are solely used by clueless mouth-breathing morons for unsolicited sexual propositions.

Sometimes, we guys just want to have normal, human conversations electronically.

The social stigmatization of the Direct Message has ruined what otherwise would be a useful way to contact people. When a female DMs me, I don’t respond, “Thanks you, but I’m afraid I’m spoken for.” That would be arrogant and presumptuous.

Girls send me totally platonic DMs all of the time, and not once have I assumed that they’re trying to fuck me. A girl DMed me a couple weeks ago to ask when an assignment for a class was due. Why is that only okay for her to do? If I did the exact same thing, it would be flirtatious and implicitly sexual.

“Like, yeah, sure dude — ‘homework.’ I know what you mean, you sly dog.”

Sometimes I just legitimately need to contact a girl and I don’t always have their phone number, so Instagram is a convenient way to get in touch.

But NO! We can’t just be adults about this. No matter what I say, the girl will inevitably tell her friends, “That guy DMed me,” which will lead them to assume that it was a picture of my dick that I sent. It’s bullshit, and it’s a double standard.

I was birthed into the world of Instagram at a time when the phrase “slide into her DMs” was first being coined, and it was funny (for about a week). It’s been several years now, though; can we finally knock it off with this childish horse shit? It doesn’t even make sense! The verb “slide” is just nonsensical in this context. Plus, it makes my message sound dirty, which isn’t fair.

It’s all James Franco’s fault, if we’re being real. Dude creeped everyone out with his DM etiquette and now all men are suffering because of it. Very unfair!

If you’re a woman, please stop making fun of all guys for DMing you. Sure, some dudes are creeps, but most of us aren’t.

If you’re a man, don’t be afraid to DM people. If you feel shamed or chastised by someone for sending a direct message, tell them to sit on a lit candle. Avoiding a girl’s DMs simply because you’re afraid that her friends will talk shit about you does nothing but feed into the myth that sending someone a DM is somehow adjacent to wanting them sexually. It’s not. As long as you’re polite and not weird, there’s no reason that you should be chastised for attempting to reach out to another human being.

If somebody DMs you, either respond to it or ignore them. Stop being sus about it..

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