Laid Off Dan Returns From Vegas With No Money And No Will To Live, So We Had Him On The Podcast
I’ve been on 13 return flights home from Vegas in my life, both after winning enough money to pay for my trip and losing enough money to force me to live like a poor for a few months, and each and every one of them was a sad, dark, morally hungover journey back to reality. There’s no such thing as a good flight home from Las Vegas — only different degrees of shitty. Three and a half hours of regret and wondering how you’ll put the pieces of your life back together when you land. It’s simply depressing.
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Now, let’s talk about Dan.
Dan was laid off last Monday. In the wake of his introduction to unemployment, he decided to drive to Vegas with fellow newly laid off Rachel Page for the weekend to gamble the entirety of his severance pay on college football in order to “double it up.”
It didn’t go well for our boy.
Dan’s alma mater lost. Dan’s NFL team lost. Dan lost two grand. Dan lost his job and has no income.
Dan wasn’t afforded the luxury of catching a flight back home from Vegas after the worst week of his life. Instead, Dan had a 20-hour roadie ahead of him to collect his thoughts, assess the reality facing him at the end of the drive, and continually convincing himself not to jerk the wheel and send him and Rachel into oncoming traffic.
I’m happy to report that Dan and Rachel survived the drive, and Dan was even gracious enough to join us for another electric episode of Back Door Cover on the same day he got back to Austin. The entire episode can be heard below.
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We love you, Danny..
Bitch tits Dan is about to be single-mother-of-three poor. He doesn’t deserve that after his last month or so of IBOTD. Bring it back, you fucks
8 years ago at 4:06 pmIf you don’t know what the Back Door Cover Bone Zone is, you ain’t living.
8 years ago at 4:18 pmDan I’ll give a full time job, six figure salary, and benefits all you have to do is lick my butthole
8 years ago at 4:19 pmThrow in a clause that involves the termination of both Wally and Kramer’s contracts and I’ll do it myself.
8 years ago at 4:56 pmyou’re getting fucked on that deal if you don’t throw in franzia
8 years ago at 8:09 pmPeople sleep on how shitty Franzia’s columns are. He honestly may be the worst writer on this site.
8 years ago at 9:48 amMalcolm you’re forgetting about Wally. He is the epitome of shit.
8 years ago at 3:23 pmTurning tricks in a Walmart parking lot in Austin
8 years ago at 11:03 pmYou should have laid off Wally instead
8 years ago at 4:21 pmWally should have to rely on soup kitchens for meals.
8 years ago at 4:23 pmWally shouldn’t eat at all.
8 years ago at 8:48 pmI don’t think anyone thought any outcome other than this would occur.
8 years ago at 4:41 pmI have some fatherly advice for Dan: “GET A JOB, HIPPIE!!!”
8 years ago at 4:49 pmThere’s something about kicking someone when they’re down, champ
8 years ago at 5:02 pmDid Dan or Rachel bang anyone?
Each other at a rest stop?
8 years ago at 5:08 pmIf Dan didn’t close Rachel he missed his best opportunity. A drunk girl in Vegas who’s feeling insecure after losing her job – that hookup practically closes itself.
8 years ago at 10:00 pmThe old “subtle flex with the black and white filter”…leave that shit on insta danny boy
8 years ago at 5:19 pmIt’s indie, brah.
8 years ago at 7:52 pmShouldn’t have listened to Siblings’ locks.
8 years ago at 5:43 pm