Lake Trip vs. Beach Trip

The trips you take with your friends will hands down be memories that are the blurriest, yet the most unforgettable. Between formals, spring break, camping trips, and every other liquor and substance fueled weekend, these trips always leave you with a lifetime of stories and a deep sadness that the good times couldn’t last forever. Each trip with your boys is a Grade-A shit show, yet two specific destinations for these trips have been clashing for the number one spot for years. The beach trip versus the lake trip.

Both the lake and the beach bring numerous blue chip qualities to the debate — where one spot falls short, the other picks up the slack. The obvious starting point in this debate is the women. As young, studly fraternity men, you will likely find yourself on the prowl for whatever strange the local scene has to offer. The women you’ll find in a beach town are unmatched. The average beach girl you’ll meet is a sorority girl from a different school with a butt handcrafted by God himself, waiting to pose on your Yeti. The lake girl, however, is a different story. Chances are the girls you brought along with your group are the most attractive thing the locals have seen in their lives. Aside from your group of coeds, the only other females you will come across at the lake will have more fingers and toes than teeth, and probably a couple DUIs to boot.

When comparing the nightlife at the beach and the lake, though, it is truly a tossup. Beachside bars are a mecca of loose women and bottomless alcohol, but this does come at a price, both literally and figuratively. The prices at beach bars will leave you either buzzed and poor or incoherently blacked at the pregame to avoid the price gouge. On top of this, these beach town bars often host the most insufferable dickheads on planet earth — the beach bar scene is really a give and take relationship. Lake bars are a different story. They are smaller and more intimate and you may be the youngest person there by 25 years, but they are still a damn good time. The lake bar plays nothing but the classics and your crew will oftentimes be the only patrons of the night. This usually leads to free rounds, shots with the bartenders, and a full wallet when you leave.

While the beach may seem like the surefire destination, there is one discipline in which the lake absolutely crushes the beach. Sheer lawlessness. Beach town cops are plentiful and looking to crack down on questionable behavior at all hours of the day. On the other hand, lake towns are the wild west. Open containers, public intercourse, and illegal fireworks would have you all over the front page of the newspaper in a beach town, yet this is encouraged at the lake. Nowhere else in the world can you freely day drink while operating motor vehicles while subsequently loaded to the teeth with illegal fireworks and be met by the town’s locals and one cop with a smile and wave.

Both the lake and the beach have their ups and downs. If you’re going on a trip solely to party and chase ass, go to the beach. But when the plans shift and you’re trying to get away for a weekend of classic rock and cheap beers with some ladies from down sorority row, the lake is the honest man’s getaway.

  1. MightBePike

    Lake should be more chill, beach has more rage opportunity. If that’s not what this says then home boy doesn’t know how to optimize.

    7 years ago at 5:11 pm
  2. jizzrag69v2

    I own a large island in the Caribbean that has miles of beaches plus a huge freshwater lake in the center. So I get both the lake and the beach in a single trip. You can do that when your family is one of the richest in the world

    7 years ago at 9:07 pm
      1. jizzrag69v2

        Kid, just because your dad didn’t have enough change to buy a condom from the machine in the truck stop restroom and knocked up a crack whore and caught the clap in the same 30-seconds of misery in the cab of his broken down semi that was hauling a load of used tires from Cleveland to Pittsburg, that doesn’t mean other people like me aren’t fabulously wealthy.

        7 years ago at 8:04 am
      2. MightBePike

        I dunno if you just save the good ones for this account or if you’re actually a different person but that wasn’t bad either way.

        7 years ago at 8:15 am
      3. Henry_Eighth

        I’m pretty sure thevaginator, thevagv2, and jizzrag are different people. Thevag comments late, so he’s probably on pacific time, and he’s more aggressive. Jizzrag comments early, so he’s probably on the east coast, and he’s more creative. Thevagv2 is a moron, so he may be buschlattesftw or maybe original blowjob420.

        7 years ago at 9:49 am
      4. MightBePike

        A fine assessment.
        There was a period of time I was checked out and wasn’t familiar with the trolls, buschlattes and bj are some of those I just wasn’t there for, or didn’t register on my radar.

        Ahh, to be back when trolls were funny and people were safe to genuinely discuss content.

        7 years ago at 9:54 am
      5. Henry_Eighth

        Thevag was extremely annoying when he first started the hardcore trolling about a year ago. But after a full year of the same stupid shit, he’s just become background noise. Unfortunately, with all the real commenters gone, the background has become the foreground. Now the TFM comments section is nothing but a small swarm of trolling flies buzzing around a slowly decomposing corpse.

        7 years ago at 10:27 am
      6. BuschLattesFTW

        You’re a loser who takes this site seriously because you’re poor and have no friends

        7 years ago at 11:16 am
      7. Henry_Eighth

        At least thevag has some sadistic intelligence. You’re so stupid, you’re not even a good troll.

        7 years ago at 11:25 am
      8. Henry_Eighth

        That imitation vaginator act doesn’t impact me. You’ll have to do better than that.

        7 years ago at 3:54 pm