Lane Kiffin Throws His Visor In The Ring Of Coaching Opportunities Via Twitter

Dent7 years ago

Lane Kiffin is likable to your everyday teenage girl. Unstable and incapable of avoiding drama, he is always going around craving attention and acceptance. He will spread rumors and create speculation at the drop of a hat visor. Too young to understand consequences, most of his relationships inevitably end in some unnecessary implosion that he caused. It’s just the way he is, and in fact many believe he feeds off that shit. So as major college programs around the country decide to move on from their current coaches and look forward to a Prom date for 2018, of course Lane was going to throw his visor in the mix.

Is there anything more petty and immature than a cryptic tweet? Like when my ex tweets out a picture of the Statue of liberty with the caption:”Sometimes we are more powerful when we stand alone.” But we all know that if I text her she’ll come running back in 4.3 seconds. Same goes for Lane. Even his most diehard supporters have to see through his crusade to lead the Florida Atlantic Owls off the brink of irrelevancy as just another way to get back to the show.

Florida comes calling? Lane is there. Tennessee makes the call even after shitcanning him? Kiffdaddy will come crawling back. Fuck, even a MAC school is okay if it can get him out of Boca. There’s only so many college bars to hang out at in that godforsaken town and he hit them all months ago.

To the three or four FAU fans out there who have come to love this fine coach, don’t blame yourself. Lane just isn’t a longterm relationship guy. It’s time for his tornado of destruction to move on to the next town. But don’t give up hope yet, somebody else still has to agree to take him and as we learned last offseason, that’s a hard task. After all, that’s how a wretch like you ended up with the bell of the ball in the first place..

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