Let These Stories Of People Sleeping Their Way To Get Ahead Inspire You To Do The Same

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Everything in the world is about sex. Don’t believe me? Well, then I’d encourage you to have a sit-down meeting with detective Ani Bezzerides and let her straighten things out:

I just want you to know that I also find this video to be obnoxious as fuck, but I couldn’t find that very relevant True Detective clip anywhere else.

“Everything is fucking.”

God, season two of True Detective was ridiculous. By the way, bet you didn’t realize that the girl in the featured photo above is Maisie Williams, better known for her role as Game of Thrones character Arya Stark. Yeah, bet you feel a bit dirtier now, don’t you?

Anyway, the internet blue-link cesspool known as “ReadIt” had another interesting AskReddit post I thought was worth sharing with you hooligans. This one was all about sleeping with an authority figure to gain an advantage in the workplace/classroom. The exact prompt was: People who performed sexual favors in school or in the workplace to get ahead, what was it for? What are things like now?

I was not disappointed with the results.

From Reddit:

I was doing poorly in a college class, so I started dating the scrawny girl who got good grades. Turns out she had a thing for oral. Both ways. Also, I learned the value of flashcards.

Any girl who has a “thing for oral” is a girl who you need to lock-down right away.

I fucked my boss on her desk once. There weren’t explicit implications of getting a raise or promotion, but I kind of assumed. She turned out to be super clingy and a little insane, so I left the job. Backfired I guess.

Fucking your way right out of a job. Still respectable, I suppose.

I used to unbutton the top of my shirt and flex for a flamboyantly gay teacher to try and persuade him to boost my grade.
Didn’t work, but later found out he was sleeping with another boy in my class.

I don’t know what is more pathetic, trying to turn on your gay professor to get a good grade, or getting rejected by him.

My public speaking adjunct, freshman year of college. I missed a speech, so I made it up in an empty class room later in the week. Gave my speech to just her in an otherwise empty classroom (which was a bit weird, but I’ve never been afraid of public speaking, so whatever). She then said it was a ‘B’ speech, that I could easily raise to an ‘A’. I asked how, and she just winked at me.

She was decent enough looking, so, being a hormone charged 20 year old, I just got on my knees and went to work. Ate her out for a while there in the empty classroom, then she took us back to her apartment where we did work until I had to go get ready to go to a party. She called me later that night saying my grade needed a bit more work. Ended up being her booty call for another 10ish months until she started dating a grad student.

I got an ‘A’ in her class, and a reliable sex life for end of freshman year, summer, and first semester of sophomore year. I’m now graduated and doing great. I regret nothing.

This sounds like a terrible porno. 10/10 would watch again.

During my junior year in college, I had this teaching assistant for an upper level econ class that I was barely getting by in. This class was required for my major so I wanted to do fairly well in it. I went to his office hours to talk about it one day. As I was talking to him, I built up the courage to put my hand on his junk and ask him to bump my grade up a little. At this point, he was silent and I was afraid he’d probably report me or something but then we just start making out. We had only made out for a bit but exchanged numbers and ended up becoming fuck buddies for the whole year, even after the class was over. I haven’t spoken to him in almost 5 years but it was definitely a win-win situation. Oh and I got an A- in the class 🙂

I assume this was not a course in ethics.

I graduated at the top 5% of my class in high school. I then went on to major in chemistry. In one particular course, I sucked a TA’s dick to convince him to give a good word to a professor, which helped me land a research role. I now attend Duke medical school and could not be happier.

Bet she is close with the Duke porn star.

Freshman year of college, got a job in the cafeteria. About two weeks into the second semester, we got a new kitchen manager who was late 30s, maybe early 40s, but was going through a bad marriage and wanted to feel young again. She decided the quickest way to do that was to start banging me for some reason.
Being a horny college kid I was all over this, and it lasted a month until she got fired for being a shitty kitchen manager.
The only thing that’s different for me now is that I kinda find it hot when a woman doesn’t shave her pits.

Wow that was…not hot at all.

Dated my political science professor last year (not for a grade, but because he was awesome). Big mistake. He was even harder on me than everyone else in the class, to avoid favoritism. That was the first time I’ve ever gotten a B on a paper. Also, he lied to me haha. He told me that he and his wife (also working at our university) had been separated for a long time and that they were both okay with seeing other people. They were separated, but it was his idea, and she was very bitter. I felt awful about hurting her. They were both about 20 years older than me. I broke it off. It was a waste of time; he was in a mid-life crisis and I was a big-eyed fool.

Edit: he constantly bought me lots of food and he was a 10/10, so only some regrets

*Scribbles ‘buy girls more food’ on a Post-It*

When I was 20, I was working as a bartender. I had a regular who was a surgeon. One day I got in a minor accident and broke my arm. I didn’t have insurance at the time and being young, stupid, and broke I thought I could take care of it myself. The next day I went into work with a homemade splint.
At some point later that night, my surgeon friend comes in and she asks me what happened. I explained it all to her. So she just gives me her office address, tells me to come the next day at a certain time, and says I can make it up to her when I’m better.
And thats how I got world-class treatment from the best hospital in the city for free. It was also the beginning of a two year relationship with a surgeon.

No regrets. Wonderful experience.

TLDR: I slept with a doctor for free medical care.

Just like Canada.

If these stories don’t inspire you to sleep your way to the top, I’m not sure I can help you. When hard work just isn’t an option, sex is always there to make up for it.

[via Reddit]

Image via YouTube

  1. HawaiianShirtFridays

    When hard work isn’t an option, you can always get Steve Holt to write an article.

    10 years ago at 3:40 pm
  2. DossieD

    You let the entire staff have their way with for you job Steve? It’d make sense why you’re still employed

    10 years ago at 3:42 pm
    1. mavdaddy

      I’ll have one of my paralegals contact you in the morning, Steve. He will write your articles from now on and we have already had the talk. original content or wind sprints.

      10 years ago at 4:59 pm
      1. BlackTrump

        Steve, honestly. I’m one of the nicest kids in my fraternity. I’d literally kill you if we were in the same room.

        10 years ago at 4:22 pm
      2. MysteryBox

        I don’t think anyone would inform the authorities afterwards either.

        Go for it.

        10 years ago at 5:22 pm
  3. George_Costanza

    Steve Holt you would be the kind of guy who liked True Detective season 2.

    10 years ago at 3:52 pm
    1. LouFerrigno

      I actually liked Season 2. Sure, it was pretty bad compared to 1 but there were some really great moments in season 2. Hell, I’d even argue it had a much better finale.

      10 years ago at 4:10 pm
      1. George_Costanza

        I won’t argue that Season 2 is bad TV, because it’s still light years ahead of popular TV shows like The Big Bang Theory, however comparing it to Season 1 (which is impossible not to do if you’ve watched Season 1), it is a pretty big flop. The characters, writing, ambience, and emotional value of the first season are incredible. It is by far the greatest TV show season I have ever watched (and yes, I’ve watched Breaking Bad, Game of Thrones, and part of the Sapranos). Also as for the ending, Season 1 had an ending that truly blew me away, the way Rust’s character went from compleltey nihalistic and self detrimental to hopeful and assured of a God who was there for him.

        10 years ago at 5:31 pm
      2. LouFerrigno

        Too bad there’s no forum to discuss this.

        Right there with you on Season 1 being my all time favorite season of a tv series. I also agree that Rust’s character arc was really well done, but the last episode felt rushed and left a lot of story threads unanswered or plain forgotten.

        Season 2 was too convoluted, and lacked the focus and duality of Rust/Marty from season 1. But it was beautifully shot, I eventually cared about the characters (even vince vaughn) and the Ray Velcoro story ended perfectly.

        If season 1 is a 10, season 2 is a 7.5.

        10 years ago at 6:01 pm
      3. George_Costanza

        Alright Lou I’ll give you all of that too. Season 2 definitley didn’t suffer on the cinematography side of things (besides being shot on digital and not 35mm film like season 1 was, but that’s petty minute unless you’re a film major), but yes the story lacked and the writing felt forced, as if it was trying to be as intellectual and deep as the first season, but couldn’t really pull it off. So I pretty much agree with you, I just didn’t care for 2 a whole lot and wouldn’t watch it again. Also, Bacon since I know you’re reading this because you reference True Detective all the time: Bring back the damn forums.

        10 years ago at 10:48 pm
      4. Fratty_Leight

        Honestly my biggest problem with season two was that it failed to hook me. I didn’t give a rats ass about the characters or the case until the very end. Honestly I couldn’t even tell you who killed Caspere it was so unimpressive to me. The case they were trying to solve in season one was much more interesting and Rust and Marty’s character dynamic makes the two seasons incomparable in my mind.

        10 years ago at 12:48 am
  4. Johnreillyknox

    Astute assumption that the one course story was not about an ethics class Steve.

    What gave it away? Maybe the fact that the story stated it was an Econ class?

    10 years ago at 4:05 pm
  5. TheRealAmurican

    “Everything in life is about sex. Except for sex. That’s about power.” – Frank Underwood

    10 years ago at 4:11 pm
    1. MarineCorps

      Wow never seen this quote on this site before!!! Is that from the critically acclaimed show Mansion of Dice? Fucking idiot.

      10 years ago at 7:48 pm
  6. AlmostBigEnough

    These stories all suck. Where’s the one about the guy/girl who actually fucked their way to a good job? IDGAF about a guy who fucked the cafeteria manager.

    10 years ago at 4:16 pm
  7. BlackTrump

    Wait, let me get this straight. Did you just post a fucking Reddit article on TFM? I was all about the blackball SteaveHolt movement but now I actually hate you. Real hate, Steve. If this was biblical times I would have you stoned.

    10 years ago at 4:17 pm
  8. BlackTrump

    Im doing well in school right now, had chipotle for lunch, and received a BJ within the last 2 hours, but you have driven me to real anger. Im legitimately pissed off right now. Steve, I hate more than anyone I’ve ever disliked in my entire life. I hope you die, seriously dude.

    10 years ago at 4:32 pm