Let These Two Vines Get You Through Your Monday

Like the rest of the population, we here at the Grandex office are combating a cumulative hangover four days in the making while simultaneously trying to get back into the swing of things. Catching up with the content grind is tough enough, but after watching these two vines that hit the internet this past weekend, my productivity is at an all-time low.

First, we have six seconds of pure local news magic thanks to Jah’wuan Nelson, after De La Salle Collegiate High School’s football squad took home a Michigan state championship:

The delivery, the shuffle: it’s just majestic. You keep doing you, 39.

Alright, there went 20 minutes of my life–time to start look for something to write about. I was optimistic that I could salvage a story or two for the rest of the day, but then I ran into this:

What the…how the…holy fucking soccer. I’m typically against all things flopping, but not here. This play left me admiring and respecting the hustle. Not to mention, the sheer physics of the flop alone left me baffled at my computer screen. I’m still in complete awe.

So yeah, I’ve wasted way too much time today watching these two vines on loop. Now I’m over here debating which performance was better: Swaggy J’s shimmy or a soccer player with the acting abilities of Daniel Day Lewis. The struggle for this job is very real.

    1. Sleazy Asshole

      Because Jack Hammer is the only employee at Grandex that works. And that includes the interns.

      11 years ago at 2:27 pm
  1. NauticalNick

    You know what would really help get me through Monday, some actual fucking articles.

    11 years ago at 1:24 pm
  2. BigFrocket

    I’m in awe of the lack of content produced by this sad excuse for a company over the past week. Get your shit together, Grandex.

    So, here’s a fat guy falling off a bike…

    11 years ago at 1:26 pm
  3. Fratasaurus

    Flopping is antagonistic to manliness and honor, which is why its perfect for the feminized soccer “clubs” of European eunuchs.

    11 years ago at 1:31 pm
  4. Roger_D0rn

    Hey Jack, you left your double-sided dildo over at my place this past weekend. You mind if I use it until you come back over to get it? Thanks.

    11 years ago at 1:38 pm
  5. Drunk Patty Kane

    No Fail Friday. No Forums. Instead, more horseshit like the content posted above. Total Frat Move is slowly turning into BroBible.

    11 years ago at 2:01 pm
    1. AnalOnFirstDate

      Well BroBible actually posts content. Granted half of it makes me want to gouge the author’s eyes out.

      11 years ago at 2:23 pm