Let’s Get Weird: June 30

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It’s Friday, it’s Fourth of July weekend, and alcohol is readily available in the United States of America, so let’s get weird.

If you haven’t read my latest Here’s What’s Going On, please do that now. Tl;dr: Dan, Jared and I are going to be contributing less content to TFM and replacing it with authentic freelance content from guys positioned all around the country. The staples like Fail Friday and IG Babe of the Day will continue to be posted by the in-house guys, along with a few other things. The end game is better, more authentic content. Phase one is underway and we’re very excited about it.

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What are we getting into this weekend?

😂(@nikprovenzano)

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  1. Colonizer

    Just finished an internship so I will probably be drunk until Wednesday, hitting the Crown Royal hard for the next 96 hours.

    8 years ago at 2:16 pm
    1. LazyRican

      I’m no doctor but I think that’s not safe. Mix it up with tequila and I think you’ll be good

      8 years ago at 2:43 pm
      1. AliceStephens

        I just got paid $6784 working off my laptop this month. And if you think that’s cool, my divorced friend has twin toddlers and made over $9k her first month. It feels so good making so much money when other people have to work for so much less. This is what I do…
        Good Luck…………… http://www.fl-y.com/3pra

        8 years ago at 5:18 pm
      2. LazyRican

        You’re a whore, you got paid to snort coke out of some hobo’s crack and suck his dick in Applebee’s parking lot

        8 years ago at 5:30 pm
      3. BIowjob420

        Coincidently, my mother has the same job description. My father – an alcoholic career criminal with a gambling problem – works in medical device sales. He stocks the tampon machines in bowling alley restrooms. Last year he was caught hiding in one of the stalls and jerking off while listening to women pee. I admire my father.

        8 years ago at 8:00 pm
      4. BIowjob420

        “That Jerkoff” is what my father used to call me. He was a very religious man, who often prayed for guidance. He would say things like, “Jesus Christ, what has That Jerkoff done now? He stuck five tampons up his ass at the same time? God in Heaven, should I kill That Jerkoff now?” Ironically, my father was later arrested for jerking off in the stall of a Women’s Restroom while listening to ladies pee in the other stalls. He is now a registered sex offender and gets to wear a cool bracelet on his ankle. I hope I can get a bracelet like that someday.

        8 years ago at 11:28 pm
    2. JohnnyFratkins

      I assume you will be acquiring the Crown Royal from the natives with “magical” glass beads

      8 years ago at 3:53 pm
  2. Bro-hann Sebastian Bach

    Not sure when the hit your buddy with a golf cart thing started but I laugh my ass off at every single one

    8 years ago at 2:25 pm
      1. smithpm

        But then, you get off on sodomizing children so I’m not sure your opinion is a good bellwether.

        8 years ago at 7:02 am
    1. Muff Stuffer

      As a Pacers fan, I’m hoping the Celtics because they have the most to offer

      8 years ago at 3:01 pm
      1. BobMotherFuckingBarker

        The East sucks, but the west may actually have some competition now. Not sure if it’s enough to stand up to Golden State, but it at least became a lot more interesting with Houston, OKC, and Minnesota all significantly improving

        8 years ago at 9:13 pm
    1. LazyRican

      why is that even a question? I’ll stick my dingus in any questionable whore’s hole

      8 years ago at 3:17 pm
    2. Fratty Couples PGA

      She reminds me of the wife from House of Cards so yes. Stephanie Ruhle (on right after) is better though.

      8 years ago at 5:33 pm
    3. DrGonzoTFM

      I’d have to get several glasses of Elijah Craig down beforehand to get past her personality then I’d bang. And recite President Trump’s facelift tweets to her right before finishing.

      8 years ago at 9:20 am
  3. Broties n Boatshoes

    Dorn, answer my questions in the “Here’s What’s Going On” article. I need answers man.

    8 years ago at 2:43 pm
    1. PFG2

      If you feel like walking 18 and getting the golf pro at your club to call east lake, you might can get a spot open. For a hefty greens fee of course

      8 years ago at 11:19 pm
  4. Blowjob420

    My last pay check was 9500 dollars working 12 hours a week online. My sisters friend has been averaging 15k for months now and she works about 20 hours a week. I can’t believe how easy it was once I tried it out…Check this web-site for more w0rk details…Good Luck… http://www.pornhub.com

    8 years ago at 6:16 pm
    1. BIowjob420

      I wish to apologize for this pathetic attempt at “humor.” Though compared to my typical blathering stupidity, this “comment” approached wittiness. Nonetheless, I am a shithead. And a virgin. – Blowjob out

      8 years ago at 6:46 pm
      1. Henry_Eighth

        Motion to blackball Blowjob420 Classic and keep the new and improved Blowjob420.

        8 years ago at 7:06 pm
      2. BIowjob420

        Thank you, Pax_Prentiss, for making me look intelligent. You and Willdog18 are the only commenters who are worse than me. Please comment more often in order to distract the TFM community from the utter shitheadedness of my offerings. If I am the Arkansas of the comments section, then you are the Mississippi. – Blowjob out

        8 years ago at 8:16 pm
      3. BobMotherFuckingBarker

        Don’t be too hard on yourself vaginator is also worse than you

        8 years ago at 9:14 pm
  5. keg__atron69

    Remember Alex “Boosh” Buscemi? He’s now a junior editor at the Chive (that shitty website that used to advertise here). Feel old yet?

    8 years ago at 7:20 pm
  6. Drunk_Sark

    I’ve just moved from the suburbs of Philly (Not Delco, fuck you Dan) to the suburbs of Columbus, Ohio. And it’s kind of a change of pace. More midwestern than I thought it would be. But, what is there to do? All my friends are still back in philly. I’ve basically just been going to the gym and golfing. (Golf is great out here btw) but, any suggestions about the greater Columbus area?

    8 years ago at 9:57 pm
    1. Larry_Sellers

      The bar and restaurant game in the Short North and Grandview is pretty top notch. Clippers games are fun and dirt cheap if you’re into minor league baseball (who isn’t?) and Crew games are electric too, if you like soccer even in the slightest. If you have a dog or something, there are some nice metro parks to walk around in and explore.

      8 years ago at 11:32 pm
      1. Larry_Sellers

        You’re right about the golf, Columbus has some awesome muni tracks and the private clubs in the area are incredible if you can find a way to get on any of them.

        8 years ago at 11:37 pm
      2. Drunk_Sark

        Yeah I live in Dublin which is far from the city but I’ve been to Short north and it’s fun.

        8 years ago at 11:41 pm