Mailbag: I’m 20, In School, And My Girlfriend Is Pregnant

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Bringing a child into this world before you’re ready, or anywhere close to it, can be a pretty terrifying scenario and something that has been on everyone’s mind at some point in their young lives. I’m surprised we haven’t covered it yet, actually.

Knocking up your girlfriend as a 20-year-old college student can certainly derail your semester, your remaining time in college, and possibly even your intended career path — also your life because having a kid will ruin it and make you hate yourself and you’ll lose all your friends and you’ll be waist deep in shit-filled diapers and you’ll be working low-wage jobs to make ends meet and you’ll never sleep in again or go out with the boys and you’ll have a shotgun wedding when she’s eight months preggers and her body will go to shit which is sad because she’s so young but you’re stuck with her for the rest of your miserable life and your friends will have awesome lives without you because they didn’t have any kids.

Okay, it’s not that bad. But how bad is it? Well, it depends how you respond. In this week’s Mailbag, we hear from a college student who got his girlfriend pregnant. He doesn’t know how to handle it and seeks my advice. His email is below.

Dear Dorn,

Recently I found out my girlfriend is pregnant, what do I do? We’ve only been dating for 6 months and is this a career ending consequence that’s going to haunt me for the rest of my life we are pro choice but it’s a tough call.

P.S
should i just move out of the country?

I asked him his age and if we was currently in school.

20 and yes I am.

If you’re 20, I assume you’re a third-year. Graduation can’t be too far away. Considering that baby has some cooking to do before it enters this world and you’re responsible for keeping a real life human being alive, you can finish out the school year, mix in a ton of summer classes, then you’ll be able to eke out a diploma with night/weekend classes while taking care of the little shit.

You’re probably also going to need to work. Diapers, baby formula, clothes, tiny little baby sneakers, doctor visits — someone’s got to pay for all of it. Unless you are fortunate enough to have parents who are willing to fund your new life as a student-parent, you’ll need to be bringing home some cheddar. It’s going to be very difficult — don’t get me wrong — but it’s doable.

And when you decided unprotected sex was worth the risk of possibly impregnating your girlfriend, you surrendered the privilege of blaming anyone other than yourself for this little mishap.

I am not about to go into the whole abortion thing, either. Not gonna do it. No way I’m going to be responsible for possibly swaying a decision that heavy.

Condoms. They’re not so bad. Everyone should wear them, all the time. Just do it. Just wear them. Wear a condom. Wear that condom. Wear that condom like the potential result of not wearing it is derailing your current life path to take on the excruciating, lifelong commitment of raising and caring and paying for a human person. Just wear a condom. Wear a condom, guys. Go put a condom on right now. I don’t care if you’re chillin at the crib all alone watching this terrible Browns-Bengals game. Go put a condom on. You never know when you’ll trip and fall into some sex. Just wear a fucking condom. Wear. A. Condom. Wear them.

Condoms.

  1. CornIsFrat

    You know YOU don’t have to wear a condom, right Dorn? 10 year old boys can’t get pregnant. Solid advice for the rest of us though.

    10 years ago at 11:25 pm
    1. ZeteNJ

      Can’ figure out why Dorno would want to wear a condom with what he’s into? Someone’s never seen SVU.

      10 years ago at 6:43 pm
  2. ImHereForTheGangbang

    Dorn just wants you to keep it so that there’s one more little boy running around for him to prey on.

    10 years ago at 11:52 pm
    1. Old_Fashioned

      Your name is tea party and your comment is to abort. Figure out what the fuck side your on you dumb piece of shit. This guy needs to sack up and take responsibilty for his actions.

      10 years ago at 8:09 am
  3. barrelsnbrews7

    Wishing you the best of luck with your decision. It’s a life, man. You’ll enjoy the hell out of the little shit. It’ll all work out in the long run.

    10 years ago at 1:45 am
  4. barrelsnbrews7

    When are you going to stop putting “By Dillon Cheverere” and just put “Dorn” ???

    10 years ago at 1:58 am
  5. FratMuscle

    In all seriousness, see if your town has a place like mine. It’s called the Elizabeth New Life Center, specifically founded to help low income families get the necessary essentials for raising a child. They help students all the time to be able to graduate and raise a family effectively. Look into it.

    10 years ago at 7:13 am
  6. SharkWeekTFM

    There is something to be said for being a young father. My parents were slightly older when they had kids. I was lucky enough to be the oldest but by the time my youngest brother was in high school it was like they were too old to keep up with a high schooler’s shenanigans (it didn’t help that he was rowdier than me or my other brother so they weren’t used to that either). Maybe it didn’t have to do only with age but I know it didn’t help.

    In terms of finances though, breast feeding and cloth diapers (which are easier now than they used to be) can go a LONG way in terms of saving money. Exclusively breast feeding (EBF) for at least a full year is actually recommended by the most up to date modern medical literature. But most OBGYNs don’t keep up with that kind of stuff and assume what they’ve been doing and recommending “has worked fine so far so why change” so you have to be your child’s main advocate.

    And having a kid isn’t the end of your life either. It makes you learn real world time management and organization. You have to be intentional about your hobbies and other aspects of self-actualization which helps you get the most out of them anyway.

    How do I know this stuff? I dunno 🙂

    10 years ago at 7:53 am
    1. FBR

      The thing that popped in my head when I read this comment and this mailbag was the song “there goes my life” by kenny chesney.

      10 years ago at 11:20 am