Mailbag: Your Website Is Ruining My Friend’s Life

Dillon Cheverere10 years ago

Meech

Hi this is Dimitri, Dorn wouldn’t post my reply so I’ll just post it here.

First of all, how is my roommate’s name (Pavlo) too unique to publish, but mine isn’t? Secondly, I’d like to personally thank you, Dorn, for your thoughtful email and for making the rest of the semester awkward for me and Pavlo. Also, thank you for interrupting my studying to make me write this shit. Such a waste of precious adderall. Didn’t you read Pavlo’s email? I’m fucking trying to get a good GPA so I can pledge in the Spring.

Now, did I take this site too seriously at one point? Yeah, but it’s a phase that most people who read this site go through. I used to be your typical “high school frat star”, wearing Chubbies and Sperry’s, reading TFM too often, etc. But I got over it. It’s not like my life revolves around this website, as Pavlo claims it does. I get that this is all satire but Pavlo is calling me out here, and I must respond accordingly.

Now, I’d like to individually address each allegation:
My “mentality” negatively impacting my grades: Wait Pavlo’s the one dropping out, not me? I had a shitty first semester, it happens. It has nothing to do with this website or the “mentality” that it promotes, it’s because I had relatively hard classes and a poor work ethic. Also, we attend a public ivy university, so the classes aren’t exactly easy. But you all will be happy to know that I have corrected these habits and, at the end of this semester, am expecting to have a 3.0 GPA.

“Blind support for Donald Trump”: I wouldn’t call it blind. I’m one of the most politically informed people that I know, and am a member of the College Republicans. I like Trump because he says what most people are thinking, he can’t be bought, he’s leading the polls, and he’s anti-establishment. I also support Rubio, Cruz, Carson, and Paul. TFM has historically been anti-Trump, so I don’t see how this supports his argument.

“Trying to become an alcoholic”: Fair enough.

“Vandalizing things”: I don’t think I have ever vandalized anything. Pavlo, on the other hand, has broken several store windows, a table in our dorm lounge last year, several chairs…. I could go on.

“Not missing a tailgate”: Why on Earth would I miss a tailgate?

“Not giving a single fuck about getting schoolwork done (usually just ends up copying off someone else)”: We have all committed our fair share of plagiarism. But for the most part, I do my own work.

“Intense passion for the confederate flag along with some mild racism and allot of intolerance”: Do I own a Rebel flag? Yes. Am I mildly racist? Who isn’t? I have that flag because I believe in State’s rights and everything else that it stands for. Ol’ Pavlo hails from the Carolinas and drops the N bomb way more often than I do.

Here’s more background info on Pavlo (because you should always examine the source for bias): he rushed the past two semesters and did not get a bid from anywhere. He is transferring to a community college to study sociology or something. He’s really into vaping and longboarding. I’m pretty sure he is still a virgin. He is in the library all day, every day. This part especially concerns me, because I see him for like an hour a day and the last time he went out was last semester. His major is pretty hard, but I know other people with the same major who tell me that the amount of time he spends in the library is not necessary. If anything, his mentality has negatively impacted his life because he hasn’t found the balance between work and play. In fact, I’m going to have to ask you to please email him, because he is the one who needs help.

I’m not wrong for wanting to make the most out of these 4-5 years before I go to graduate school. So I appreciate your concern, but I’m doing just fine.

P.S. Eat shit Dorn.

10 years ago at 8:20 pm