Man Jumps Out of Moving Car to Escape Nagging Girlfriend

Hey, we’ve all been there. I recall one time weighing the pros and cons of swan diving off a three-story balcony to escape the verbal death grip I found myself in. A Wisconsin man found himself in a similar situation, but instead of a three-story plummet to earth, he was faced with the tuck-and-roll maneuver from a speeding vehicle. He went for it.

A 34-year-old man was taken to a hospital after jumping out of a moving car early Tuesday morning because he couldn’t stand bickering with his girlfriend any longer.

Police said the man had taken his girlfriend out for her birthday Monday night, but as they drove home in the back of a friend’s car, he said he had it with bickering with his girlfriend.

Oh, it was her birthday…? Shit, the picture here just gained some major clarity. Anything short of taking her to the moon where a private dinner awaited would not suffice.

Police said the man couldn’t stand it any longer and wanted to get out immediately, so instead of waiting for the car to stop, he opened a rear passenger door and stepped out, or fell out, onto busy East Washington Avenue about 1 a.m. Tuesday.

The victim hit his head while tumbling from the moving vehicle in the 3200 block of East Washington Avenue and was taken to a hospital with a brain bleed.

It was a classic trade-up scenario. He traded further insufferable nagging for a cracked skull and possible brain damage. Who’s the winner here? Honestly, it may be this guy.

    1. DFlo

      And here I was, thinking all along that the saying was “Bitches get stitches”. Learn something new everyday

      12 years ago at 10:01 am
    2. Old_Fashioned

      ^ It’s actually snitches get stiches, so you’re right back where you started.

      12 years ago at 11:04 am
    1. WhiskeyAndBeer

      That would hinder her ability to give blow jobs. Unless you’re TFTC about that

      12 years ago at 8:22 pm
    2. A Rowdy Phi

      So you are inferring that is the only girl that gives blow jobs? Punch her in the mouth

      12 years ago at 5:28 pm