Man Wakes Up To Find He Drunkenly Paid $4.28 For A 95-Foot Uber Ride
It looks like one Houstonian has been around the block a few times…or maybe just once.
From SFGate:
One Reddit user going by the username uhcougars1151 posted a picture of his Uber e-reciept last night for what must have been the shortest Uber ride ever: he went just 95 feet, circling the block to arrive just steps from where he started. The damage: $4.28.
Confession time: I was uhcougars1151’s Uber driver that night. Even though I’m interning full-time here at TFM Headquarters, my payment of saltines, titty-twisters, and anal probing doesn’t even come close to putting a dent into my living expenses. Because of this, I’ve been moonlighting as an Uber driver in Houston. It’s actually put me into an even bigger financial hole as of now, seeing as I had to drop four hundo on a fake ID that says I’m 23 (the minimum age to be an Uber driver) and I also have to make the three hour drive from Austin to Houston. It’ll all pay off in the long run, though–especially if I keep tricking guys into paying fares like this.
You see, I’ve made a game out of taking my customers on the longest possible routes to their destination. I once drove around a roundabout so many times that I got dizzy and puked all over my PT Cruiser’s dashboard. Totally worth it, though. That extra distance added $5 onto the fare–passenger didn’t know what hit him (besides those partially digested Jack In The Box tacos). When uhcougars1151 hopped in my cab blackout drunk and asked me to take him the 10 feet to his house, I did what I had to do. I popped my car into reverse and drove right around the block. What a sap.
That said, if you get an Uber in Houston this weekend and see the driver has a PT Cruiser and is named The DeVry Guy, I’d avoid it at all costs. I’d avoid all PT Cruisers, really. Most people can’t handle them.
[via SFGate]
Image via Imgur
Paying 4.28 to drive you you 95 feet instead of walking there on froot (frat foot). TFM
10 years ago at 3:30 pmI don’t know if you’re posting all over today as a joke or if you’re really that awful. Either way, I despise you.
10 years ago at 3:37 pmAt least i can buy alchool
10 years ago at 3:39 pmExcept 94 birthdays can buy alcohol..
10 years ago at 3:41 pmyou obviously can’t add
10 years ago at 3:42 pmLook at his username, dweeb.
10 years ago at 10:54 amWhy dont you just uber drive in austin instead of houston devry guy
10 years ago at 3:33 pmNo shit – Austin has Uber. This article is bullshit
10 years ago at 4:36 pmin which direction would you say your life is going in?
10 years ago at 10:29 pmI’m trying to figure out what this article is about.
10 years ago at 3:52 pmI think it’s about Jack In The Box tacos. DeVry Guy threw them up.
10 years ago at 4:29 pmI now want Jack in the Box tacos.
10 years ago at 9:40 pmLet’s try “I have no idea what the fuck Uber is but the fact that $4.28 for 95 feet equals about $238 per mile makes me think it is complete and utter bullshit”
10 years ago at 10:27 amHe ended up 95′ away from where he started. He actually went around the entire block. Read a book. Or at least the article.
10 years ago at 1:27 pmDeFry guy needs to keep his brother in line. This article is just stupid.
10 years ago at 4:33 pmHe takes them around town if you know what I mean.
10 years ago at 11:19 pmDorn gives kids rides around the block for free
10 years ago at 4:36 pmSimmer down you two, you both suck
10 years ago at 4:37 pmThe driver was definitely from Pakistan
10 years ago at 5:12 pmI honestly don’t think I could write a worse article no matter how hard I tried. Absolute shit.
10 years ago at 8:14 pmI have faith in you
10 years ago at 8:31 pmThis comment was shittier than the article, so you’re off to a good start.
10 years ago at 10:27 pmThis is actually a pretty funny picture to start with, but the article following it was probably the dumbest thing since “Undercover Frat Brother”
10 years ago at 12:15 amPaying 400 for a fake. NF
10 years ago at 12:20 am