Map Of The Lamest Party Schools In The Nation Will Make You Glad You Don’t Go There

The map is actually called the “The Tamest Party Schools In The Nation,” but let’s call it what it really is: the lamest. The only time you’d find me on one of these campuses would be if I stumbled upon it drunkenly, only to piss on the grass while shouting obscenities at the rent-a-cops. While we’re all loading up on kegs for the return to the fraternity houses and our favorite bars, these kids are actually buying books and probably a ton of pocket protectors. Take a look at the map for yourself.

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After going through the list, I can only name two schools: Wyoming and BYU. You would think that Wyoming would be a college where all they do is drink. Is there anything else to do there? I’ve literally lived in Texas all my life and never once have I heard of Southwestern Assemblies of God University. I honestly thought it was made up, like in “Accepted.” You learn something new every day, huh?

I can imagine Greek life at these schools is a lot like that fraternity that has the lame parties. During rush, these guys pitched their parties as the greatest ones on campus, but the photo and video evidence always proves they’re a bunch of sausage fests. Just as their party spiels didn’t help with recruiting new members, this map won’t do much good for colleges trying to bring in top-tier talent. So, cheers to all those who go to a school that isn’t on this list. As Robert Earl Keen says, “The road goes on forever, and the party never ends.”

[via E College Finder]

  1. A_Aron12

    Very surprised that Seattle Pacific is on here. Thats where the movie “21 and Over
    ” was filmed

    10 years ago at 1:09 am
  2. JohnnyO

    Montreat is a hellhole. If you want to be in the mountains of NC go to UNCA or App State. And it’s not going to be accredited for much longer.

    10 years ago at 3:07 am
  3. JohnnyO

    Also who thought this graphic was a good idea? I’m from Ohio and I have no fucking idea what that says, let alone really small states in New England or logos with no words like the one in the Alaska.

    10 years ago at 3:09 am
  4. JohnnyO

    The University of Wyoming is also the best party school in the state. It’s the only university in Wyoming.

    10 years ago at 3:10 am
  5. Fratboystakeitintheass

    It is articles like this where good writing and opinion columns go to die. This is the shittiest writing I have seen.

    10 years ago at 4:18 am
  6. skhagan92

    As a student at Asbury University, I’ve never been more proud of my school. I live on a safe campus, and my school has a 96% hire rate upon graduation (wait, so I have a 96% chance to get a job RIGHT after I graduate? Score!). Since attending, I’ve travelled to Haiti on a mission trip building homes for the desperately poor and got to meet some of the kindest, most generous people in the world; worked as an intern in Sochi for the 2014 Winter Olympics (and got paid for it); and I am interning this summer in Austin on a documentary called The Liberation of Joe Tom. This is all before my senior year, mind you. I’ve received several scholarships from a university committed to helping students prepare for success in life without sacrificing my personal faith and spiritual lives AND without burdening burdening me with massive debt upon graduation. So in short, I’ve gotten to go Moscow, Sochi and the Olympics,, work in my chosen field in one of the coolest cities in the country, AND got to go to Haiti within three years and I won’t be graduating with over $100,000 in debt. You’re right, though. My school sucks. (That’s called sarcasm).

    10 years ago at 8:15 am
    1. PDT613

      This website obviously isn’t for you, just like you’re school is obviously not for 99% of the people that comment about it

      10 years ago at 11:18 pm