Map Reveals The Drunkest Countries In The World

drunkrussian

The World Health Organization released a new map detailing which countries drink the most per capita, and as expected, America is perfect. That’s why we’re colored gold, right? Because we set the gold standard for alcohol consumption? Not too much, but enough to be awesome. I may have made all of that up just now, but considering the map itself is using fictional words like “litres” to measure alcohol consumption (what is this, a Quidditch scoreboard?), I think we’re all free to interpret this however we want.

Congratulations to Russia on finishing ahead of America, though killing a bottle of shitty vodka every night simply to forget you live in a godawful country doesn’t seem as fun as funneling a hurricane from between huge, barely legal breasts on Bourbon Street.

world alcohol map

[via Business Insider]

  1. NightriderNoisewater

    Apparently the only freedom Russia has is to drink whenever and however much you want.

    11 years ago at 11:30 am
    1. FUBAR1776

      Think about if you were Canadian. Wouldn’t you have to have a drink just face the day?

      11 years ago at 11:46 am
    2. Lancealot

      Straight up I’m Canadian and the natives are taking the weight for us, they evolved to live without livers man, shit doesn’t make sense.

      11 years ago at 9:31 pm
  2. Shoeless.Bro.Jackson

    Makes sense. I’ve always considered Russia the blacked out try-hard of Europe.

    11 years ago at 11:40 am
    1. RisingFratstarOfTX

      Russia isn’t part of Europe, dude…maybe you shouldn’t have fallen asleep all those times in geography class.

      10 years ago at 9:43 am
    1. OriginalFrat

      If your definition of “shittier countries” is Europe and not practically all of Africa and the Middle East, yeah, you’re right.

      11 years ago at 11:49 am
    2. NightriderNoisewater

      Are you trying to say all countries other than America are shitty? Or do you actually think all European countries are shitty?

      11 years ago at 11:51 am
  3. AGBro

    This is a fucking travesty. We as the young fraternity men of America must endeavor to get this great country ranked as it always deserves, as number 1.

    11 years ago at 12:02 pm
  4. BROmcy

    I bet the lack of alcohol in the middle east has something to do with how fucked up that area is…

    11 years ago at 12:14 pm
    1. Larry_Legend

      Or maybe it’s because muslims aren’t allowed to drink? (that’s why they’re always so mad)

      11 years ago at 10:10 pm
  5. Thad_Castle

    Putting Russia in black for always blacking out. Something may have been done there.

    11 years ago at 1:06 pm