Masters Recap: McIlroy on Suicide Watch, Tiger Still Awesome Asshole, Random South African Wins
The 2011 Masters was certainly one for the books. Rory McIlroy, who went into the final round with a four-stroke lead at -12, ultimately had an epic meltdown that he may never fully recover from. He cranked one into the cabins so far off course they never got a camera close enough to really see his lie. Next, he smacked a tree, eventually finished the hole, and then drove his ball into a stream on his next drive. From there the cameras stopped following, and I honestly thought the next shot we’d see of him would be hanging lifelessly from the Eisenhower Tree. If you’re an adamant patriot such as myself, you were very pleased as this hard-to-watch disaster painfully unfolded, giving the American Tiger Woods a shot at what seemed like an impossible victory (he went into the round 7 strokes off the lead). Toward the end of Sunday, a 5-man playoff was a distinct possibility. In the end it was too little too late for Tiger, but he did shit all over the media in his post-round interview: “Right now, I’m one back and we’ll see what Adam (Scott) does,” and “I’m going to eat. I’m starving.” Then he walked off; it was awesomely smug. Some weirdly named [EDIT: South African (Who gives a fuck?)], Wienerschnitzel or something, took home the green jacket after birdying the final four holes. Whatever, I’m just glad that broom-putter toting, layup-taking fairy Adam Scott didn’t win. Instead of wasting anymore time insulting Scott’s sorostitute putter, or discussing the long list of reasons Rickie Fowler should cease to exist, let’s try and make Monday a little more fun with some hilarious clips from classic golf movies. Feel free to share more in the comments section.
A rare swing and a miss from The General.
14 years ago at 7:03 pmPretty sure he is from South Africa.
14 years ago at 7:06 pmLet me be the first to say that he is from South Africa…
14 years ago at 7:17 pmWho the fuck do you think you are? You are seriously going to try to recap the greatest sporting event in the world by saying you enjoyed watching a 21 year old shoot an 80? Thats not patriotic thats cruel. Also, Tiger was your only hope for this tournament? It makes you proud when you see a man who blew up his personal life succeed in the sport of gentleman? Lastly, Schwartzel is fucking South African
14 years ago at 7:18 pmRedemptive rise back to the top of golf all the while saying “fuck the naysayers”? FaF. Americans love stories if redemption. Tiger blew up his family, but he lost them, a shitton of money, and 2 years off his game. I think we can come around and root for him again, if not harder. He’s struggled, and I’m ready he does well again. Nothing wrong with that at all. Gentlemen are allowed to make mistakes; it’s rising to the top again that proves the “man” in gentleman.
14 years ago at 11:38 pmStories *of* redemption
14 years ago at 11:40 pmHey dumbasses actually read the article before you troll it says” EDIT- from south africa”.
14 years ago at 7:20 pmIt wasn’t there when we read the article hence making you the dumbass.
14 years ago at 7:44 pmI think the point is that he is a random fuck and that south Africa and Australia may as well be the same since I give a fuck about neither.
14 years ago at 7:22 pmIf this bag was full of fucks, they would get none of them
14 years ago at 12:26 pm^Yes!
14 years ago at 1:12 pmI wish the scene of Bob Barker whooping Happy Gilmore’s geed ass would have made it into those clips.
14 years ago at 7:33 pm^yes
14 years ago at 3:37 am“The price is wrong, bitch.”
14 years ago at 10:06 am“I’m just glad that broom-putter toting, layup-taking fairy Adam Scott didn’t win.” makes up for all the other fuck-ups in the post.
14 years ago at 7:45 pmSorostitute putter. classic.
14 years ago at 10:51 amBest tiger comment. “I hit it well all-day” “actually I hit it well all week” anyone else feel he might not have been talking about golf?
14 years ago at 7:57 pm“You take drugs Danny?” “Everyday sir.” “Good . . . so what’s the problem?”
Classic.
And as for the Masters . . . agree completely with the assessment of Scott.
14 years ago at 8:01 pm