Masters Recap: McIlroy on Suicide Watch, Tiger Still Awesome Asshole, Random South African Wins
The 2011 Masters was certainly one for the books. Rory McIlroy, who went into the final round with a four-stroke lead at -12, ultimately had an epic meltdown that he may never fully recover from. He cranked one into the cabins so far off course they never got a camera close enough to really see his lie. Next, he smacked a tree, eventually finished the hole, and then drove his ball into a stream on his next drive. From there the cameras stopped following, and I honestly thought the next shot we’d see of him would be hanging lifelessly from the Eisenhower Tree. If you’re an adamant patriot such as myself, you were very pleased as this hard-to-watch disaster painfully unfolded, giving the American Tiger Woods a shot at what seemed like an impossible victory (he went into the round 7 strokes off the lead). Toward the end of Sunday, a 5-man playoff was a distinct possibility. In the end it was too little too late for Tiger, but he did shit all over the media in his post-round interview: “Right now, I’m one back and we’ll see what Adam (Scott) does,” and “I’m going to eat. I’m starving.” Then he walked off; it was awesomely smug. Some weirdly named [EDIT: South African (Who gives a fuck?)], Wienerschnitzel or something, took home the green jacket after birdying the final four holes. Whatever, I’m just glad that broom-putter toting, layup-taking fairy Adam Scott didn’t win. Instead of wasting anymore time insulting Scott’s sorostitute putter, or discussing the long list of reasons Rickie Fowler should cease to exist, let’s try and make Monday a little more fun with some hilarious clips from classic golf movies. Feel free to share more in the comments section.
Tin Cup, FaF.
14 years ago at 8:29 pmI watched The Masters too.
14 years ago at 8:44 pmI guess a lot of y’all that come on this website are from South Africa. Too many of y’all are wearing your sorostitute’s panties and have them in a bunch. The moral to the story is that he isn’t American, so as far as I’m concerned he’s Somalian.
14 years ago at 8:45 pmThank You. I’ve had like 6 functioning brain cells today because of a rough weekend. Give a man a fucking break. Gold jacket, green jacket, who gives a shit? Australian, South African, who gives a shit?
14 years ago at 9:27 pmThat was the most classic recap I’ve ever heard…had me cracking up
14 years ago at 9:00 pm“Well, the world needs ditch-diggers too.”
14 years ago at 9:03 pmAt least he SPEAKS Uhmerican…..
14 years ago at 9:33 pm“You’re gonna die clown…” hahaha
14 years ago at 9:47 pmBob Barker is a Snu Daddy.
14 years ago at 9:51 pmno need for an amateur recap of Golf’s Greatest tradition. this was a waste of your time. for the time you spent typing this shit up you could be on the range working on your short game or getting in a quick front nine before an afternoon B-Law class.
14 years ago at 9:51 pmYou are all disgraceful. Yes, I realize that I’m a woman and have no place commenting on The Masters, but I’d just like to point out that he won fair and square. Winning (and even making it to The Masters) is a huge accomplishment. While I would have liked an American to win, I can’t hate on anyone else for playing the best game and experiencing what is obviously one of the best moments of their life. That being said..my fratdaddy’s sandwich has finished toasting so I’ll return to the kitchen now.
14 years ago at 10:23 pmshouldnt’ve left the kitchen in the first place honey
14 years ago at 10:38 pmI hope your sandwiches don’t suck as bad as your opinions…
14 years ago at 5:39 amI’ve gotta give her credit for avoiding atleast a few extra sexist jokes at the beginning and end.
14 years ago at 5:41 amYou should have stopped after you said you’re a woman and have no place commenting on the Masters.
Oh, and yeah the back 9 of the Masters was really exciting.
14 years ago at 11:21 am