Masters Week: It’s Finally Here
14 years ago

Finally, the pregame is over, and Masters week 2011 is upon us. It is, indeed, a tradition unlike any other. If you skipped class today and watched the Par 3 Contest, then you’re probably already walking around with a visor and a half chub. If you can’t avoid work this week, you don’t have to miss the action. You can stream the entire tournament on Masters.com, or use The Masters Golf Tournament iPhone app if necessary.

As we all know, Augusta National is a club rich with history, as well as stories of great triumph and defeat. Though there are women on the membership waiting list (to appease the public), no woman has ever been admitted. As former chairman of the club “Hootie” Johnson once said, “Our membership is single gender just as many other organizations and clubs all across America. These would include junior Leagues, sororities, fraternities, Boy Scouts, Girl Scouts, and countless others. And we all have a moral and legal right to organize our clubs the way we wish.” FaF. So while you watch this week, kick back and enjoy the scenery knowing full well no woman has tarnished this beautiful piece of earth with her pink golf balls and 30-yard worm burners. While you’re at it, have the sorosty fix you up an Arnold Palmer (or make it a John Daly). When she brings it say, “Hey, thanks sweetheart, but you’ll never step foot on a golf course with me,” just to be sure you’re on the same page.

Before you place your bets on this year’s tournament, consider your choices carefully. We want that green jacket to stay here in the USA, not going overseas. Betting against America is just like rooting against America. Here are some current odds for the tournament on Sportsbook.com:

  • Phil Mickelson 11/2
  • Tiger Woods 8/1
  • Nick Watney 15/1
  • Lee Westwood 15/1
  • Martin Kaymer 20/1
  • Bubba Watson 20/1
  • Aaron Baddeley 20/1
  • Rory McIlroy 20/1
  • Dustin Johnson 20/1
  • Hunter Mahan 25/1
  • Matt Kuchar 25/1
  • Luke Donald 25/1
  • Anthony Kim 30/1

You’ll notice we didn’t post Rickie Fowler’s odds. That’s because he’s a fucking GDI:

Great clip of Phil:

  2. brotuckey gentleman

    Ill take big Bubba and his half a million dollar watch. The man is FaF.

    14 years ago at 7:58 pm
    1. vokey

      Bubba is the fucking man. Watch the videos he makes of himself. Pure comedic gold. Unfortunately he’s good friends with Fowler, but I’ll let that slide. Bubba rocks.

      14 years ago at 2:58 am
  5. BeardedThunder

    Cheers to the gentleman who changed Rickie Fowler’s Wikipedia page to say he is a professional GDI.

    14 years ago at 9:15 pm
    4. Delt1858

      It says “professional golfer” now. They must have changed it back on Wikipedia, but it does still show up on google search. Still, too funny.

      14 years ago at 10:46 pm
    6. Confederate Fratter

      Look at the references for GDI on the Wikipedia page, whoever changed it listed TFM as the source haha

      14 years ago at 11:05 pm
    10. Jay_Fratsbty

      Rick Yutaka Fowler (born December 13, 1988) is an American professional GDI. He was the number one ranked amateur geed in the world for 36 weeks in 2007 and 2008.

      14 years ago at 2:15 am
  6. bubbahog

    Sorry, but Golf is really a Geed sport. Ultimate Frisbee is where it’s at. UF is a contest of true athleticism and skill. Anyone and everyone can hit a golf ball. Chicks go crazy for the UF champs like me. Ultimate Frisbee. FaF.

    14 years ago at 9:35 pm
    1. Confederate Fratter

      Can one of the administrators please ban this troll, seriously it’s one thing to stir the pot but another to make geed comments day after day, it just annoys people rather than entertain.

      14 years ago at 9:40 pm
    3. OffWeFrat

      There’s a difference between sarcasm and being a dumbass to try to piss people off. It’s not even funny anymore, stop making Arkansas look bad, and find something else to do with the sad amount of spare time you seem to have.

      14 years ago at 10:42 pm
    4. Costa Vision

      No one can degrade the image of Arkansas. The bottom would have to fall out for it to look any worse. Living there was the worst year of my life.

      14 years ago at 11:16 am
  7. LionsandDiamonds1851

    I don’t completely agree with the sexism in the post; however, golf is definitely FaF and the Masters is one of my yearly social highlights. can’t wait to be there Friday and Saturday!

    14 years ago at 9:43 pm
    4. frat and clear

      I don’t think it is necessarily sexist. You wouldn’t want a bunch of men trying to join your ADPi chapter would you?

      14 years ago at 10:10 pm
    5. LionsandDiamonds1851

      It’s a golf club, not a fraternity and some of the members are GDIs so I don’t think the comment about males joining sororities is appropriate. With that being said I’m content being the daughter of a member.

      About not going Sunday. I have Greek Week and my event is on Sunday. Putting my sorority needs before my personal needs. TSM

      14 years ago at 10:42 pm
    6. frat and clear

      The sorority thing was simply an example. I could have used boy scouts, the free masons, or any other private club as an example. I was not trying to put women down or suggest that women are incapable of joining because they are lesser beings than men; I was simply trying to show that they are a private club and may do as they wish.

      14 years ago at 10:56 pm
  8. eighteenninetyeight

    “You’ll notice we didn’t post Rickie Fowler’s odds. That’s because he’s a fucking GDI” Hell yes. I hate that little fucker. Bubba’s gonna look FAF in that green jacket.

    14 years ago at 9:45 pm
  10. General_Fratton

    A member of the Masters Press Committee wouldn’t let Rickie Fowler wear his hat backwards during a press conference on Monday. Welcome to the Masters you fucking GDI.

    14 years ago at 10:28 pm
    1. PTG Beauregard

      Holy shit. For about five minutes tonight, his Wikipedia page read “Rickie Fowler is a professional American GDI.” To whomever put their pledges to good use – frat on, sir.

      14 years ago at 10:50 pm