Why Middle-Tier Fraternities Love Syllabus Week
Summer is winding down, and a golden age quickly approaches. In just a few short weeks, low tolerances and questionable decisions will replace the 9-5 internship grind to which your parents forced you to succumb. Before you know it, you’ll be forced to make small talk about what you did this past summer with every past classmate and ex-hookup you run into at the bar. It’s almost the only time of the year that you’ll see a line out the door of the PIKE house. Syllabus week is nigh, and, as a proud member of a middle-tier house, I could not be more excited.
Syllabus week is a boon for middle-tier houses for two reasons: incoming freshman guys, and incoming freshman girls. Once orientation-mandated sensitivity training is over (my preferred pronoun is “ze,” btw) and the parents have left, it will be the first time most of these kids have ever lived on their own. These freshmen don’t know how to do their own laundry let alone know which parties they should be going to at night. Reputations and house rankings mean nothing to these new students, which makes syllabus week middle-tier houses’ time to shine.
For the guys, the idea is simple: have a bunch of events to meet as many potential rushees as possible. We get a clean slate with the incoming class. These kids don’t know that our president ruined our only-ever mixer with Tri Delt by vomiting on their social chair’s shoes. They don’t know that most of the brothers in our chapter are unfortunately from Long Island and New York City. They don’t know that we only really mix with the one sorority willing to mix with us. All they know is that they’ve never been to a college party before, and the house will have everything their impressionable minds desire… and that we were the only place on the row that let them in. Apparently the Sig Chi party was invite-only.
For the girls, the idea is even simpler: have a bunch of events to get them in the house. Freshman girls are a lot smarter than freshman guys. For them, it’s only a matter of time before they join sororities and only go to whichever houses their big’s boyfriend is in. The beginning of the school year is the only time 80% of the girls coming to our parties will ever set foot in our house (I had our stats pledge run the numbers). We’ll get some unreal talent through these doors during syllabus week — talent you just can’t find in the one sorority willing to mix with us — then POOF! They’re never to be seen in our less-than-hallowed halls again. When they are around, though, it not only makes us look good for kids who want to rush our house but is also great for brotherhood morale. You can only send so many Facebook messages to the Theta social chair asking to set up a mixer before you get the campus police called on you. Gotta keep the brothers happy.
While syllabus week is a great time to be a middle-tier house, it’s really about reuniting with your boys, making reckless decisions, and going out to make up for 3 months of lost fun while on the corporate grind. There’s a light at the end of summer, and it’s only a few weeks away..
This article is Middle-Tier.
7 years ago at 10:40 amCan confirm. See also: Unorganized events, opening up before midnight just to fill your house, and going far away for spring break so girls have no idea how much you all suck on campus.
7 years ago at 11:34 amSo is your mom
7 years ago at 12:23 pmHillary’s blonde friends are hotter than she is
7 years ago at 10:44 amBut..everyone loves syllabus week..
7 years ago at 10:55 amRight. This was just what this particular group enjoys about it.
7 years ago at 1:47 pmBotd’s owl eyes will come in useful when she needs to find my dick in the dark
7 years ago at 11:00 amI laughed.
7 years ago at 11:08 amThere’s a button for that
7 years ago at 11:22 amGuess which one I pressed for you.
7 years ago at 11:30 amDownvote?
7 years ago at 11:30 amThere’s also a button for holding my pants up but I can never find it so I just walk around with my tiny 4-inch (when fully erect) peen hanging out. I’ve managed to find my zipper but I’ve never figured out how it works. All that up-down shirt is beyond me.
7 years ago at 11:38 amThey say history repeats itself. Hoping Hillary blows this erection.
7 years ago at 3:00 pmHillary has those “I’m crazy psycho” eyes
7 years ago at 11:02 amHow long have you been planning that comment?
7 years ago at 12:48 pmProbably took him as long as it took me to convince your whore of a mother to let me plow her cabbage snatch slit. So not long
7 years ago at 5:31 pmHey, why don’t you take a butt shot of bleach, champ.
7 years ago at 8:34 pmHey, find the sharpest knife you have and head butt it as hard as you can, champ.
7 years ago at 11:13 amAs a rule, I only beat it to girls named Hillary in election years, but today I made an exception
7 years ago at 11:33 amKeep talking
7 years ago at 4:31 pm10/10 would subpoena Hillary’s virginity
7 years ago at 11:49 amA lovely perspective. Well written.
7 years ago at 1:34 pmIf you describe your house as the #2 house in the upper lower middle tier, then your house’s problem is that you have no self respect. Tiers don’t exist
7 years ago at 2:06 pmHILLARY FROM FSU ALL TIME BOTD WOW 10/10 PLS ILL SUCK YOUR TOES
7 years ago at 4:35 pm