Mike Leach Finally Weighs In On Guns In America, And His Take Is Pure Gold

Harrison Lee10 years ago

Mike Leach is by far one of the most interesting coaches in all of football. He thinks he’s a pirate for shit’s sake. You could sit and listen to him talk for hours. He coaches and speaks with a reckless abandon, which is most likely due to him downing a handle of Jack Daniels before the games. Whenever you’re around him, you’re just waiting for the next pure, solid gold quote.

So when he was asked to give his take on gun violence, he was more than happy to provide us with some A+ entertainment.

From the Seattle Times:

I don’t think people should be allowed to shoot guns unless they have a license. I also think I would sift through some whack jobs too, in the process of getting a license.

I agree, Mike. Whackos shouldn’t have access to guns. So how does Mike protect himself and the fam? Does he keep something loaded under his bed? Nah, that’s too conventional for the pirate himself. He uses something even better.

I keep my guns on one part of the house totally locked up, and I keep the ammunition in another part of the house. Because if you think about it carefully, statistically, you’re more likely to shoot yourself, a loved one or a relative. There’s this (absurd) notion of ‘if you come in my house I’ll shoot ya.’ I do have a Viking axe by the bed if I need to whack someone. … My wife bought me a Viking axe – the axe side curls down so you can grab the adversary around the neck and you can use it to climb walls, as a grappling hook.’

Mike Leach wielding a viking axe might be the scariest thing an intruder could encounter. All I’m saying is someone who has as many screws loose as Leach does has nothing to lose. And getting decapitated by an axe isn’t out of the question.

Other A+ Leach quotes:

On A&M fans versus Tech fans

“A&M wants to rip on our fans and all that. Our fans are as good as their fans are. One thing our fans don’t do is sit around and whine about other teams’ fans. A&M spent a significant part of the week whining about what our fans are like.”

On America’s obsession with the Kardashians

“We waste a lot of time with that, and then we worry about the Kardashians. How can it be that we laugh about England’s obsession with the Royal family? At least the royal family has college degrees and military service.”

On The Aggie Corps of Cadets

“How come they get to pretend they are soldiers? The thing is, they aren’t actually in the military. I ought to have Mike’s Pirate School. The freshmen, all they get is the bandanna. When you’re a senior, you get the sword and skull and crossbones. For homework, we’ll work pirate maneuvers and stuff like that.”

Never change, Leach..

[via Seattle Times]

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