My Brain Cannot Comprehend How Hot These Australian Surfing Sisters Are

There is a ton of stuff in this world that I just don’t understand. The list is long but distinguished. Like how Jimmer Fredette was drafted before Klay Thompson and Kawhi Leonard, or how airplane pilots never forget the keys to the plane in their apartment.

I also don’t understand how these surfing sisters from Australia, the Coffey sisters, are as hot as they are. Ellie-Jean is 22, Holly Daze (electric porn star name) is 18 (seriously), and they’re infernos. Forest fires so blazing I’m told Vinny Chase used them as inspiration in Smokejumpers. If you’ve got heart problems I suggest kindly closing your browser.

Ellie-Jean is not my lover…she’s just a girl who claims I’ll never be the one…

Holly Daze has me dazed and confused. My head is spinning just trying to process what I’m looking at…she’s got a Kate Upton thing going on.

And these are Australian surfer chicks so you know they’re one thousand percent cooler than you and all of your friends.

  1. TrustFundMove

    Not sure what I am more impressed by: that Jesus could walk on water or that these barbies can stand up on a board with those top heavy milk guzzlers

    8 years ago at 10:17 am
  2. RisingFratstarOfTX

    This terrifies the living fuck out of me that somehow my booze-pickled seed will lead to a daughter of this magnitude and I’ll have to start researching how much it costs to install a moat.

    8 years ago at 10:26 am
  3. Straightcashhomie

    Elite genetics, a rare blend of feminine assets with physical fitness while maintaining the “surfer vibe.” Truly outstanding potential in the sack, they both project well to the next level. Elite quickness, they would make most men finish faster than a Chris Johnson 40 yard dash. Franchise level projection in remaining in the spank bank for a very, very long time. -Mel

    8 years ago at 1:13 pm
      1. Straightcashhomie

        Thanks man. Todd “I thought Tim Couch was a franchise QB” McShay is taking all my shine now a days. Time to put more gel in my hair- Mel

        8 years ago at 10:52 pm