My Interview With A Sorority Girl/Sex Worker

WJ Cope7 years ago

I’ve met a lot of interesting people on social media, and recently I came across the only person I’ve ever known of that is a college student, sorority woman, and a sex worker all in one. That’s quite the trifecta, and a while back I slid into her DMs to find out more about her. I’ll be referring to her as Bethany for the purposes of this interview. And here it is:

WJ: Tell me a little bit about yourself.

Bethany: I’m 22 and a senior studying Psychology and a minor in Chemistry.

WJ: Please briefly go over everything you do that constitutes sex work, with explanations if it’s something the average person might not be familiar with:

Bethany: My “primary” job is working as a dancer at several clubs in my area. I also do some camming (filming clips and performing live shows, mostly fetish related). Camming is different from pornography because I’m not contracted by any company, and I only film solo.

WJ: What was your introduction into sex work? What were your initial thoughts or reservations?

Bethany: A coworker of mine at my “day job” mentioned that she was a dancer and I was really intrigued. She invited me to audition at the club where she worked and after a few weeks of hesitation, I finally said “fuck it” and told her I’d try it out. I was terrified of getting naked in front of a bunch of strangers, that was really the hardest part for me. Before I entered the industry I was really self conscious and reserved about my sexuality and my body, so putting myself out there and being completely vulnerable was the scariest thing I’d ever done.

WJ: What kind of money do you pull from each of the things you do? Just a ballpark number is fine.

Bethany: The majority of my income is from dancing, and I average about $4k a month working 3-4 nights a week. Dancing is weird because some nights I’ll make $800-$1200 without hardly lifting a finger, but I’ve also had nights where I’ve left with under $100. We don’t get paid by the hour, just the money that’s put on our stage and from customers buying dances/champagne rooms so it’s extremely variable. I had a sugar daddy for a while who paid me $1k/month to go out to dinner with him a few times a month, but I preferred dancing over hanging out with him so I ended that. As far as camming and findom (financial domination), that’s more of a side hustle for me. Sometimes I’ll sell a lot of clips and shows or get someone in my Twitter DMs offering me money, but I’ll also go weeks without selling anything.

WJ: When did you know that this would be something you’d enjoy and be able to support yourself with?

Bethany: Honestly I fell in love with it the second I stepped onstage. Something just clicked inside me, and I felt so powerful. At the end of the night I was so exhausted I fell asleep in the car on the way home, but I was absolutely giddy. I’d never felt so sexy and confident before. I haven’t taken a week off since then, and as I continued to hone my skills and become a better hustler, it became clear that this was going to be a very lucrative career for me. But honestly after that first night I knew I was going to come back.

WJ: How have your friends/family responded? Have you lost anyone from your life because of your work?

Bethany: I’ve had an overwhelmingly positive response from my friends, especially my sorority sisters. I was terrified to open up to them about it, especially because my sorority has a strong academic focus and a strict dry policy. But everyone has been so supportive of me! My parents were harder to convince, but I’m not super close to them, so even though they know that I dance, it’s not something we really talk about. When I first told my mom, she freaked out and told me that I was trying to “get back” at her for being a bad parent, that I was “too lazy” for a real job, that I was despicable and a slut. It broke my heart because dancing has been very empowering for me and something that I actually enjoy. It’s something I do for myself and myself alone, so I was sad that she made it about her. She never apologized but we just pretend it never happened, which is a theme in my family.

WJ: Tell me about the camaraderie between you and others in the industry. Do people look out for each other, and do they hang out together in free time?

Bethany: The women who I’ve met in the industry are some of the bravest, strongest, most amazing women I know and I have the utmost respect for them. I’ve made some close friends and we definitely hang out outside of work. We absolutely have each other’s backs. If I’m having a rough night, I can count on them to lift me up, and I hope I do the same. There’s this stigma that dancers are extremely competitive and petty, but that hasn’t been my experience. We help each other hustle. As one of my close stripper friends says, “We’re all just squirrels trying to get a nut.”

WJ: Do you see this as something you’ll do after you’re done with school?

Bethany: I’m honestly not sure. It is something I would like to keep doing if my schedule permits, but I also want to use my degree and focus on building my career. I definitely have this fantasy that in the future I’ll be married with kids, and I’ll still be dancing. I imagine I’ll come home at the crack of dawn, get the kids up for school, kiss my husband goodbye before he leaves for work, and then sleep all day while someone else cleans my house.

WJ: What are some things about the industry that were unexpected or surprising for you?

Bethany: It surprised me at first how much money people are willing to spend on a fantasy. Like we both know that there’s no way in hell I would ever go home with a customer, but these men will still shell out hundreds and even thousands to pretend that I’m their girlfriend for an hour.

WJ: Please explain the financial and “donation” kind of stuff. What is exchanged, what kind of people are your clients, why would they just buy you things?

Bethany: Well for starters, I’m very good at convincing men to give me their money. When men give me money to pay my tuition, or buy me gifts, it’s just that: a gift. I don’t give anything in exchange except gratitude. I think they do it because they’re expressing affection using money. It’s part of the fantasy–if I was their girlfriend, they’d buy me gifts, etc. They want to “take care” of me by paying my bills and buying me nice things.

WJ: What are some industry terms that the uninitiated might not know?

Bethany: FSSW stands for full service sex work, so that refers to sex workers who perform sexual acts. Dancers refers to sex workers who dance and perform in strip clubs. (My rule is that I can call myself a stripper, and other dancers can call me a stripper, but if you’re not in the industry, you can call me a dancer). A cam girl is generally a sex worker who films herself for an audience or private shows, and I believe most cam girls do this alone, as opposed to porn stars who film with partners.

WJ: What would you, as a sex worker, tell people who might be apprehensive or have a negative idea in their heads about the industry? Dispel misconceptions here if you’d like.

Bethany: My biggest pet peeve are feminists who hate sex workers. We refer to them as SWERFS (sex worker exclusionary radical feminists) and whorephobes. The most prominent stigma about the industry is that sex workers are exploited and “forced” to work in the industry due to poverty, drug addiction, etc. This is wildly inaccurate. I’ve met countless dancers, myself included, who say that their decision to start dancing was the best choice they ever made. I’ve learned so much about myself and grown as a person and I’m happier than I’ve ever been. No, we don’t want a guy to “save” us. Another misconception is that sex workers are “easy”. Sure, we are very comfortable with our sexuality because you have to be in this industry. But it’s harder to get a stripper to sleep with you than any other woman because we know our worth. Why would I send Chad from sigma apple pie my nudes for free so he can leave me on read when I could make money off that shit and have someone tell me I’m a goddess?

WJ: What would you tell someone who is thinking about getting into the industry?

Bethany: I would say make sure you consider all of the sides before jumping in. It’s easy to get wrapped up in the lifestyle and easy money, but don’t lose sight of yourself and your goals. Set aside at least 20% of your earnings from each night, put it in a savings account and don’t touch it. You never know when you might break your leg and be out of work, and we don’t get sick leave. Make sure that you take time to take care of yourself. Take a break if you need to. It can be emotionally draining work, especially on the bad nights. Customers can be really cruel, so you have to have a thick skin. Make sure you trust the people you work with. Will the club security/manager have your back if someone harms you? If not, find somewhere else to work. Never forget that you are your number one priority..

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