New Product Promises To Make Your Sperrys Stop Smelling Like Death Mixed With Spoiled Cottage Cheese
It’s a problem that every fraternity man has faced at one point or another.
After hours of drinking, walking around town, and tripping on deceivingly placed cracks in the sidewalk, you remove your saturated boat shoes to a smell that would make a decade old gallon of breastmilk seem like an improvement.
The atrocious Sperry stench is a real problem. Lucky for us, that problem is about to become a thing of the past.
Let me introduce you all to the glory that are Gekks. Gekks are a new product, still in development, that promise to eliminate the everlasting torment of Sperry stench forever. By using a bunch of sciency stuff that I don’t pretend to understand, Gekks fit perfectly into your boat shoes and kill odor faster than you can say “Hey pledge, clean my shoes.”
Throw away the odor removal spray that does nothing but make your shoes smell like a Febreeze and cheddar vomit cocktail. Keep your dryer sheets in the laundry room where they belong. Gekks’ use of antimicrobial silver yarn (the same stuff astronauts use) that these other de-fungusizing techniques can’t shake a stick at. Check out this video for more long scientific words that describe just how Gekks work their magic.
Check out their Kickstarter page HERE for more info on what will soon be the savior of your Sperry collection.
When SFPL isn’t writing a list, he’s advertising.
11 years ago at 5:49 pmI wonder how much money he was promised to write this shit?
11 years ago at 7:47 pmA haircut and a date with Dorn’s mom
11 years ago at 8:09 pmNailed it.
11 years ago at 8:40 pmFailed it.
11 years ago at 3:27 amBetter Headline: “New Product Promises to Make SFPL Never Write a List Column Again”
11 years ago at 5:50 pmThat, my friends, is what I call community service.
11 years ago at 5:50 pmBet you Stanley Yelnats’ family from Holes is behind this
11 years ago at 6:59 pmI think “Hey pledge, clean my shoes” has a better ring to it
11 years ago at 5:51 pmThe smell adds character to the footwear, every Sperry has a different story there for a different smell. RESPECT THE STENCH.
11 years ago at 5:59 pmYou had me at ankle cleavage…
11 years ago at 6:00 pmSFPL doesn’t support pledge tasks.
11 years ago at 6:08 pmI get that you guys shamelessly make your articles into advertisements now, but there are so many easy ways to lessen Sperry stench.
11 years ago at 6:20 pmAgreed. Dryer sheets have done wonders for me.
11 years ago at 6:25 pmCedar shoe trees and putting gold bond on your feet before putting them on has kept my Sperry’s smelling nearly like new.
11 years ago at 6:49 pmSay hello to the savior of the US economy.
11 years ago at 9:51 pm