Canadian Company Recalls Birth Control Containing Too Many Placebos

Ferris12 years ago

If you’re about to hook up with a girl and she says she’s on the pill, you may still want to wrap it up first. At the very least have some plan B and/or a treacherous staircase handy. Why the extra precautions? Because Canada fucked up, that’s why.

Canadian birth control pill manufacturer Apotex has issued an “urgent recall” of its Alysena-28 line because a single batch (50,000 packages) may have made it into the marketplace with two weeks of placebo sugar bills.

In a typical month’s worth of birth control, there are three weeks of pink pills that actually prevent girls from getting pregnant, and one week of white placebos that don’t do anything, for when the girls can’t get pregnant anyway. Don’t ask me how this all works exactly, I stopped being pre-med in part because this shit got too complicated. The important thing here is that this manufacturer put two weeks of the placebos instead of just one. So basically, if you’re with a girl who takes Alysena-28 and you don’t wrap it up, you may be effectively playing sexual Russian roulette, which is far less sexy than real Russian roulette. Thrill boners, who’s with me?

Yes, I can read and I am aware that this is a Canadian manufacturer, but I don’t want to take a chance. In today’s global marketplace, you can never be sure where your slam’s birth control is coming from. I mean, you could ask her, but that’s probably among the least sexy questions a person can pose in the heat of the moment.

Hey, at least Apotex took care of it as soon as they realized their fuck-up, right?

Apotex has contacted wholesalers and retailers about the possible placebo batch but has not contacted customers directly, initially listing the recall as voluntary.

Voluntary recall? What the fuck, Canada? No. When you fuck up this badly, you take the full hit. You don’t half-ass it. What if you were making something life-saving? Are you allowed to do a “voluntary recall” on chemotherapy drugs? The answer is no, in case anyone’s wondering.

So what happens to the girls who didn’t realize they took two weeks of placebos and got pregnant? Well, the company has reached out to 350 customers and offered free pregnancy tests and morning after pills to anyone taking the drug.

Alright, that’s a start, but I still don’t trust these dirty Canadians. Maybe toss a couple plan Bs my way as a precautionary move and we’ll see.

[via Yahoo! News]