NF Confessions: I Have No Idea How To Throw A Football
This is a safe place. Within the virtual walls of this webpage, we are free from the harsh scrutiny of our peers — scrutiny to uphold the impossibly high standards of the lifestyle that our fraternity letters demand. Let your guard down. Share with us your most NF attributes, anecdotes, desires, or anything that is generally deemed NF.
To get things started, we asked our staff to hit the NF confessional. Their anonymous responses are below.
- I can still hit a kickflip. #NFconfessions
- I buy my Polo and Brooks Brothers at the outlet stores. #NFconfessions
- I love West Side Story. #NFconfessions
- I’ve never seen Animal House all the way through. #NFconfessions
- I was adopted. #NFconfessions
- I’m a Rickie Fowler guy. #NFconfessions
- I use Adderall for its intended purpose. #NFconfessions
- I enjoy a nice cuddle sesh. #NFconfessions
- I attended a public high school. #NFconfessions
- I have student loans. #NFconfessions
- I thought Costa Del Mar was a place when I first heard it. #NFconfessions
- I’ve never been hunting. #NFconfessions
- I advocate safe sex. #NFconfessions
- I’ve never operated a boat of any kind. #NFconfessions
- Cocaine gives me anxiety. #NFconfessions
- I used to freestyle battle my boys in high school. #NFconfessions
- I’ve never had much of a relationship with my dad. #NFconfessions
- My parents are divorced. #NFconfessions
- My parents could never afford summer camp. #NFconfessions
- I can’t tie a bow tie. #NFconfessions
- I met my girlfriend on a mission trip. #NFconfessions
- I’m relatively healthy because I do cardio exercise regularly. #NFconfessions
- I give money to homeless people. #NFconfessions
- I’ve literally never played golf before, and I don’t own clubs. #NFconfessions
- I have never dipped. #NFconfessions
- I enjoy a nice hard cider. #NFconfessions
- I recently cut out beer from my diet to shed a few pounds. #NFconfessions
- I never had a fake ID. I simply waited until I was 21 to enter a bar for the first time. #NFconfessions
- I’ve never successfully shotgunned an entire beer. #NFconfessions
- I own multiple pairs of board shorts. #NFconfessions
- I drive a Subaru. #NFconfessions
- I only listen to rap and despise country music. #NFconfessions
- I drink vodka sodas regularly, despite there being beer and dark liquor readily available. #NFconfessions
- I’ve had a job pretty much since I was able to work. #NFconfessions
- I have no idea how to throw a football. #NFconfessions
- I think strip clubs are demeaning. #NFconfessions
- I was in 14 plays or musicals in high school. #NFconfessions
- I’ve never flown first class. #NFconfessions
- I can barely touch 240 off the tee. #NFconfessions
- I play Call of Duty with a headset on. #NFconfessions
- I had a cartilage earring and was the best rollerblader at my high school. #NFconfessions
- I like watching Premiere League soccer more than I like watching college football. #NFconfessions
- I married my high school sweetheart. #NFconfessions
- Oh, I’m married. #NFconfessions
- My car gets good gas mileage. #NFconfessions
- I had a system in my ’90 Jeep Cherokee. Two Rockford Fosgate 12s. #NFconfessions
- If I finish before she gets off, I’ll continue pleasuring her until she climaxes. #NFconfessions
- I make a conscious effort to consume less meat whenever practical, for environmental reasons. #NFconfessions
- I have a tattoo and I’m not always disgusted by girls who have them. #NFconfessions
- I can tell you the names and backstories of all the personalities on Bravo’s Below Deck, Vanderpump Rules, and all the Real Housewives. #NFconfessions
- I enjoy the NFL more than college football. #NFconfessions
To confess your NF qualities and be featured on next week’s column, submit it as a wall post. Be sure to add the hashtag #NFconfessions. All submissions will be kept anonymous..
This is actually a ploy to blackball any NF
10 years ago at 12:03 pmIt’s not rocket science, you just didn’t get enough air in the womb.
10 years ago at 12:04 pmMy parents are divorced. Nothing I can do about my dad being a scumbag (which also applies me to #17.) Old money and trust funds have to start somewhere….
10 years ago at 12:05 pm240 off the tee is respectable if you’re Danny Regs.
10 years ago at 12:17 pmA 90’s Jeep Cherokee is a pretty frat ride.
10 years ago at 12:17 pmAnyone else remember when this was a forum topic with hundreds of replies?
10 years ago at 12:34 pmNot being able to throw a football or shotgun a beer is completely unacceptable.
10 years ago at 12:54 pmYou know where a good place to share things was? The forums.
10 years ago at 12:56 pmSurprised they left out the “I get all of my articles from Buzzfeed” confession
10 years ago at 1:50 pmReddit*
10 years ago at 2:07 pmI’ve only had sex with two sorority girls. #NFconfessions
10 years ago at 2:06 pm