NFL Player Darnell Dockett Doesn’t Know You Can’t Live-Tweet Jury Duty, Live-Tweets Jury Duty
If you’re an avid NFL fan, you’re probably familiar with the crazy antics of Darnell Dockett.
Dockett, a defensive end for the Arizona Cardinals, is notorious on Twitter for saying whatever is on his mind. Today is a particularly rough day for him, yet a great day for his followers, because he has been trapped at the local courthouse participating in jury duty.
Dockett, whose Twitter biography endorses crime (see below), has spent the day live-tweeting everything he has been forced to do or see in court–which is almost definitely against the rules. How anybody could even conceive placing him on a jury is beyond me.
The 33-year-old reptilian enthusiast runs a Twitter account that is not for children–as evidenced by his biography:
Ex criminal who turned nothing to something. FSU & AZ cardinals is my squad, and #90 is who I be. I don’t not free base cocaine. Crime pays!
Dockett also lists his personal website as www.ilovemidgetstilldeath.com, a website I don’t plan to visit, but will safely assume has nothing to do with his actual interests. His location? “Doing doughnuts in my lambo.”
Here is a snippet of his Twitter timeline today:
Damn I got jury duty today!!! Fuck! I'm not the one for this..
— DARNELL DOCKETT (@ddockett) December 2, 2014
That's what I'm trying to do.. RT @Tamieand: @ddockett lol keep tweeting they gonna send you home !!
— DARNELL DOCKETT (@ddockett) December 2, 2014
The lady ask me if I wanna be here.. I said hell no I rather be home. But I don't believe in death penalty and Im not racist. Can I go now?
— DARNELL DOCKETT (@ddockett) December 2, 2014
They have no idea Im am double parked in a handicap spot out side this court house in a 450k car with a registered pistol. Who am I to judge
— DARNELL DOCKETT (@ddockett) December 2, 2014
I just told this guy Im hungry and he's like I can't leave.. wtf U mean I can't eat! Ok watch this. Im gonna order pizza off this app! F.U.!
— DARNELL DOCKETT (@ddockett) December 2, 2014
I just walked in to another court room . Look at this guy ball spot.. He should be getting judged too!! #guilty pic.twitter.com/mkO5gQ79YU
— DARNELL DOCKETT (@ddockett) December 2, 2014
Ok so now they asking everyone to cut the phone off. I have 2 phones and Twitter app on both. cool I'll give up this android keeping iPhone
— DARNELL DOCKETT (@ddockett) December 2, 2014
Hold up!!!!!!! I think I'm gonna get kicked out!! For my comment saying "yall had this guy guilty no matter what" and my pizza is here!
— DARNELL DOCKETT (@ddockett) December 2, 2014
A lot of people N court today. I just saw a guy get 21yrs and he walked out like a G. He wasn't trippn at all and smiled. Jewelry heist!
— DARNELL DOCKETT (@ddockett) December 2, 2014
Probably a good idea to keep Dockett off any future juries..
[via Twitter]
I lost it at the picture of the bald spot guy
11 years ago at 4:30 pmYou mean the “ball spot” guy?
11 years ago at 4:40 pmDumb ferguson
11 years ago at 4:46 pmNah.
11 years ago at 1:27 amBut damn if I don’t respect his blatant disregard for the legal system.
11 years ago at 4:50 pmI’m still holding on to some hope of fail Friday getting put up. Or maybe double fail Friday this week.
11 years ago at 4:51 pmHe’s a great follow on the Twitter
11 years ago at 4:52 pmIt alarms me that he could be included in a jury of my peers
11 years ago at 4:55 pmIf your talking peers in a very loosely defined way. I’m not sure that a degree from fsu constitutes being college educated if he even graduated.
11 years ago at 9:38 pmHow about basic grammar skills?
11 years ago at 1:30 pmAt least the legal system picked up on the fact that including an nfl player on a jury would be good so all the ones that get arrested can have a true peer there.
11 years ago at 9:54 pmNo fucks were given that day
11 years ago at 5:34 pmThis is the path Jameis Winston is going down. One day snapchatting for boobies, the next live tweeting his own court appearance
11 years ago at 5:52 pmWho doesn’t snap for boobies?
11 years ago at 3:56 amHe fully loves midgets and I can’t decide if it makes him seem stranger or if having some truth in part of his bio makes him seem less insane
11 years ago at 6:49 pmMy lawyer uncle once told me why he thought his job was so dumb. “You have to get all this education, then you use it to make a complex legal case to people who aren’t even smart enough to get out of jury duty. It’s like trying to teach linear algebra to a bunch of toddlers.”
11 years ago at 6:56 pmI know what wrestling is, Uncle Jack. It’s just not something uncles do with their nephews.
11 years ago at 10:11 pm