North South Carolina College Offers Major in Facebook and Twitter Mastery
12 years ago

If there’s one thing today’s college students have learned, it’s how to browse social networks while pretending to pay attention to class lectures. Now it appears that a North South Carolina school is hoping to combine productivity and procrastination in a way we’ve never seen before.

Newberry College has recently announced that it will offer a Major in Social Media, and I can only imagine what some of the required courses could be. While collegiate problems have never been particularly difficult in the grand scheme of the world, a Social Media Major is the ultimate manifestation of first world problems:

“Sorry man, I can’t go out, I have to study for my Stalking Bikini Pics 3406 exam tomorrow.”

“I can’t decide if the professor wants us to use the Earlybird filter or the Hudson filter on this picture of homemade Fettucini Alfredo.”

“Shit! I forgot to do my mandatory Foursquare check-in at class today. My attendance grade is fucked.”

“I used an apostrophe in a hashtag and lost 50 points on my final. Twitter Ettiquite 2400 is tougher than you’d think.”

While the way businesses operate is constantly changing in our modern, internet-driven world, a major in Social Media seems like a blatant waste of time and money. If you want to work in the brand new profession of Social Media Management and Marketing, perhaps the best course of action would be a business degree. You know, so future employers don’t laugh at the fact that you got college credit for optimizing your Facebook privacy settings.

Newberry College’s move is nothing more than an attempt to capitalize on the modern obsession with Social Media. Understanding how to use the internet is not a collegiate-level skill, and any useful aspects of a major in this field could easily be received from any other type of (slightly more useful) business degree.

That said, you could probably find some quality hot and stupid slams in these classes. Look out Textile and Apparel Management, your days are numbered.

[Source]

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  2. john brotarsky

    this would be a SOUTH carolina college. you’re pledges must really be few and far between right now bottom shelf dipshit

    12 years ago at 2:57 pm
    2. Real Clayton Bigsby

      Since*, and also South Carolina is the greatest state in the Union. First to secede, last to re-join.

      12 years ago at 3:03 pm
    3. FratMuscle

      That just means South Carolina has a history of being governed by whiney bitches.

      12 years ago at 3:26 pm
    4. WestBellTower1891

      To be fair, Newberry College is a complete shithole. There are plenty of legitimate institutions in the state.

      12 years ago at 7:32 pm
  4. Real Clayton Bigsby

    Another Mrs. degree. Surely these classes will contain some good looking women to re-populate the country after the race war. Be on the the lookout, we need to accumulate as many women for the restoration effort as possible.

    12 years ago at 3:01 pm
    5. Dorns_Dong

      ^^ Well, it is just a ball park. Vanderbilt is actually the only one I can think of, so I guess I am being pretty generous there. You’re welcome.

      12 years ago at 1:56 am
    6. Hoo Frats Harder

      ^^Ivy League aside, the South absolutely has good schools on a nationally comparative scale.

      12 years ago at 2:16 am
    10. Bro On the Fratio

      OSU has a lot of top programs, including a tremendous business school, law school, and med school. Do your research.

      12 years ago at 4:54 pm
    11. futureleader14

      ^^Being a Dukie, I’d say elitism and snobbery are FaF. And yes, our academics would take a giant poop on whatever South Carolina is passing off as an education.

      12 years ago at 11:39 pm
  6. thatsfrattastic803

    I’m sorry but nothing is “frat” about Newberry College. There are 3 sororities, with Kappa Delta being the only decent letters, and those girls are all fat and ugly. Sigma is just a bunch of fat/nerdy girls and then they have Alpha xi delta who are pretty for the most part but a lot of them look like white trash. They only have 2 active frats and they’re both a bunch of losers and KA got kicked off for hazing. Why does this school of a thousand kids make this “TFM News” wall?

    12 years ago at 5:09 pm
    4. NC_Girl12

      The Sigma Sigma Sigma chapter at Newberry College . You say we`re just fat and nerdy??? No, We may have the highest GPA on campus but the last time I checked that is not a bad thing. We`re a mixer including Cheerleaders, soccer players & lacrosse players. So don’t run your mouth if you don’t know what or who your actually talking about!

      12 years ago at 12:23 am