NY Strip Club Offers ‘Melo Free Lap Dances For Life If He Re-Signs

Harrison Lee10 years ago

Being a prized free agent in any sport has its perks. It’s like being the top recruit. All the houses want you and they will make sure you get whatever you want, just to have you. Scores, a strip club in New York, has given me a great idea for my next rush tool. They offered Carmelo Anthony free lap dances for life, should he decide to stay with the Knicks.

From TMZ:

NBA free agency just got real — cause one of the most famous shake joints in the country is offering Carmelo Anthony FREE LAP DANCES FOR LIFE … if he re-signs with the NY Knicks.

He really can score by re-signing with the Knicks. I would have had my pen out before they even said “for life.” They didn’t stop there, either. Let’s get a rundown of everything included in this wonderful package:

– Free lap dances for life.
– Judging the “Dollars For Scholars” amateur pole dancing competition (15,000 scholarship in his name to the winner.)
– A new drink called “The Melo Carmelo” to be served in the club forever.
– His own personal ball girl and cheerleading squad for every Knicks game that would only cheer for Carmelo.
– A topless charity basketball game in his honor (in which he could play) … “where holding is not a foul.”

That’s quite the haul, and he’d be stupid to turn down the Knicks now. Minus “The Melo Carmelo”–sounds like a bitch drink to me–I will offer this to every top recruit who rushes in the fall. I can see the topless charity basketball game making its way into a few philanthropic events. Just won’t advertise it as topless.

[via TMZ]