Obama Would Like Your Wedding Guests to Donate to His Campaign

Rob Fox13 years ago

I can’t decide whether the Obama campaign is doing this because Mitt Romney is SO rich that they’re going to need to get money from every conceivable corner of America, or because the people who ran Obama’s successful 2008 campaign started smoking crack and snorting bath salts. Either way I’ve come up with some other uselessful ways the Obama campaign can raise money:

– Put out tip jars at Starbucks
– Hire sidewalk performers
– Literally panhandle on the side of the highway
– Hire porn stars to give $1 blow jobs across the country
– Set up dummy wishing wells near schools full of less fortunate children
– Steal from mall fountains
– Ask all the hopeless bands and filmmakers on Kickstarter to turn over the donations they’ve accumulated to the campaign
– Collect cans and recycle them, like the hobos do
– Dollar dances with Barack Obama
– Place “malfunctioning” soda machines that eat dollars all over the country
– Ask for everyone’s old Sacagawea dollars, because no one wants those anyway

Any other ideas? Leave them in the comments.

[h/t to reader Sand Saver]